And They Ask---Why I Like Retirement?

[DHenry]

I am sure some of you have seen this already but I thought I would share it with the ones that haven't. Enjoy.

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing
Saturday & Sunday I rest.

[TheCoachPotatoes]

Good One Doug and Sharon,

When Al retired he added 5 more Saturday's to his week also. I'm looking forward to all of that in 2 more years or less. Sounds like a blast to me!

[JH Sechelt]

I like that one.....I can relate.
Bought some laminate flooring a month & a half ago, ( to do a family room down stairs), and it is still in the boxes .
We were going to do it before X-mas, now maybe after X-mas. Now plan on heading south after X-mas for a couple of months . Maybe try to make it to Quartzsite.
I guess the flooring will get done one day.......or not .

[1Happycamper]

Hi doug. that was good. When I retired my last day of work was a Thursday, so I tell everyone that I'm on a long weekend.

Another one

Question:A retired person is asked why he did what he did.
Answer: Because I can.

[Glenn and Lorraine]

let's not forget...

You know you are retired when you wake up in the morning with
nothing to do and go to bed at night with it only half done.
BUT, Keep in mind, doing nothing all day can be a very
tiresome job because you cannot stop to take a break.

[clutch]

I am not exactly 100% retired. I ride my quad every Mon, Wed, Fri just because I want to.

[dscott]

Doug,That was great,I retireed Friday,I'am loading the trailer today,leaving,tomorrow am, for Frostproof RV Resort, in FL.

[Waynem]

Since being retired, I don't do anything until noon and then I do it twice.