The old dead tree

[Ozz]

Working in the yard, made me remember a story I wrote about a Walnut tree in the back:
We knew someday in the not too distant future, we would have to deal with the bare torso of the leaning Walnut tree.
Our recent windy Spring days brought on the falling of the old gal. Unfortunately, the tree was caught by the branches of Two nearby Walnut trees. It was almost like it’s close brother trees, purposely stopped the fall, much like we would catch someone that had tripped.
Now we had to give immediate attention to the Two ton giant, it gave me the heebie-jeebies just walking under it, to check to see why it did not fall.
To be truthful, I was rather excited about devising various Rube Goldberg ways of bringing her down. I slept on this for a few days, weeding out the methods that might make the evening news.
Making sure I entered this process totally sober, and would have what little common sense I possess, I began our adventure.
I had some long heavy rope left over from our boating days, I collected this, along with some lighter coils of rope and a small ball hitch. I figured I would throw the ball, as a nice compact weight, attached to some light rope over the fork in the tree, then pull the heavy rope up and around to make a sturdy pulling device. Well, the ball was heavy, and my girlie throws were extremely comical, Sue and I were laughing as we dodged the falling hitch ball. Sue moved behind me. I moved on to the David slew Goliath method of swinging the ball and letting loose at the precise time the arc of the ball would go where I intended.
Sue moved even farther back in the yard.
After wearing myself out by snagging the rope and ball on the rough bark and dead vines numerous times, one of which, we had to hook the rope onto the trailer hitch, of ‘Old Yeller’, my good Ole standby 1976 Chevy truck I bought new, and dearly love. (Sue moved up next to the house.)
I drove into our field, rope taught, ducking behind the wheel until the rope and hitch ball came rocketing loose, leaving a serious depression in the metal shed nearby.
On my next try, I was able to get the large rope pulled over the fork in the tree, and hooked to Old Yeller.
Now, I was on a roll, I excitedly put her in gear, and off I went!
The long rope got tight, (Sue was nowhere to be seen), and I was crunched down in the seat, as the tree came crashing down.
I backed up and removed the rope from around the tree, luckily it just missed the our little shed, I’m sure the Groundhog that lives under it was relieved.
Now that all the fun is over, I guess we will have to cut up the tree and take it to my brother Terry’s place, he burns wood, and has a gulch we can throw the branches into.
My concern now, is that the tree was covered in vines, that with my luck will be Poison Oak. I have listened with interest the many ways to keep from getting the poison rash all over and inside my body when cutting up and handling the wood. These comments range from a full Haz-Mat suit with respirator, to the guy that said: “It won’t bother you none, just don’t be afraid of it.” I didn’t know fear had any relationship with the rash, maybe it does, for there is a Swedish proverb that states: ‘Worry gives a small thing a big shadow‘.

[tjuhl]

Aren't walnut trees worth something? Several years ago a close friend with several tall walnut trees in his yard was offered $2000 each and they would cut them down and haul them away.

[Ozz]

Probably. My luck would run that way. It was pretty gnarley....

[rogue]

Come On now Ozz, finish the story. What happened, did you conquer the deadly poison Walnut I mean Oak on the walnut tree?
Bob

[Bill-N-Donna]

Have you ever thought about writing a book? You certainly have a talent with words!

[Ozz]

Bob, lucky for me, I did not inhale, or rub up against any poison on that deal.
Bill-N-Donna, thank you for your kind words, I would like to do that, but I understand it is very difficult to get that accomplished. Maybe some day I will invest the time and hard work it will take.
If you two enjoyed my story, I am a very happy man.

[Mrs. CountryGuy]

Ozz

"The Reflections of Ozz"

there ya go, got cha a title.

Have you ever heard of "privately published"???

All you need is a good word processor, lay it out, save it to a PDF format, take to any Kinko's near you, they will print, bind,

ta da

you is PUBLISHED!!

[Bill-N-Donna]

If you are really interested You could also look at http://www.lulu.com/

[Ozz]

Carol, that would be good, but then what??
Bill-N-Donna, I am about to click and investigate. Thank you.

[Ozz]

I need an editor, or proof-reader, someone to go over my thoughts put into words, and make it readable to those who know how bad my composition is....
What I do is fun, but not professional, I am sometimes embarrassed at how bad that part of my writings come out. I just do not have a good, solid formal education in the fine arts.

[Mrs. CountryGuy]

Flip side of tooooo much editing by some unknown:

The flavor of OZZ disappears.

A lot of what we like here is the WAY you do write.

Add a few more paragraphs, and me thinks you would be fine.

Then, privately contact everyone who has said, "I really like your writing, you outta do a book", and ask, "OKKKKKK, how many do you want to buy!??"

[Dustytuu]

I like your stories just fine. Just the way you write them. Leave the flavor of Ozz in them!

[Ozz]

Thanks, Carol, I am thinking you would be a good business manager...
Thank you dear, did you sell the house?
I will still photograph the 'Kilroy was Here' I made, and post it.

[Dustytuu]

No have not sold the house yet but reduced the price more so might sell now, while still spring.
Thanks for asking.
You take care Ozz.

[sailer]

Ozz the walnut tree no matter how bad of condition is worth money and just call some of the saw mills near you , you have it on the grd , now just take the money , even if you cut it up the whittlers will buy it from the dealers , they only want it a foot long or so ,, but the story was great ,, keep it up john