|
11-14-2007, 03:51 AM
|
#1
|
Montana Master
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Forestville
Posts: 6,025
M.O.C. #496
|
Twenty Nine Lines
This was sent to me and I thought you all would enjoy it also.
TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1..My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I
Grew up.
18.. Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs? A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few .
|
|
|
11-14-2007, 04:14 AM
|
#2
|
Montana Master
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Leona
Posts: 6,382
M.O.C. #2059
|
Funny, thanks!!
|
|
|
11-14-2007, 05:45 AM
|
#3
|
Montana Master
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Casa Grande
Posts: 5,369
M.O.C. #6333
|
I think # 19 is pretty close to reality. It's a sad commentary that many college graduates today have no jobs in their chosen profession. I remember years ago when I went into the military I wanted to be in Air Traffic Control. They told me there were no openings for ATC and I could be a medic or a cook, well, call me doc!!! I have one son with a degree in computer science working in financial planning and another in accounting working in accounting. One out of two ain't bad, I guess. I sometimes think that the business of colleges is not educating but making money instead, but then I digress.
Really like these sayings.....I am smiling!!!!!!
|
|
|
11-14-2007, 06:30 AM
|
#4
|
Montana Master
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location:
Posts: 2,232
M.O.C. #2975
|
Very funny! And clever!
|
|
|
11-14-2007, 08:05 AM
|
#5
|
Montana Master
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bakersfield
Posts: 5,316
M.O.C. #15
|
Doug and Sharon,
Some funny stuff in there and I like the very last thing you posted the best! Too true!
Dennis and Mary Kay
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few .
|
|
|
11-14-2007, 04:28 PM
|
#6
|
Montana Fan
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Maurice
Posts: 224
M.O.C. #7633
|
thanks for sharing! they brought many a smile
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Similar Threads
|
Thread |
Thread Starter |
Forum |
Replies |
Last Post |
SAD SAD SAD, gas lines
|
Mrs. CountryGuy |
Sitting around the Campfire |
11 |
09-24-2008 05:51 AM |
My water lines ????
|
Allen in MT |
General Discussions about our Montanas |
8 |
12-16-2007 12:52 AM |
where do these water lines go?
|
Yazoo |
Maintenance |
7 |
11-05-2006 10:03 AM |
water lines
|
Garnzees |
Montana Problems, Problem Solving & Technical Help |
0 |
11-29-2003 01:51 AM |
Water lines
|
Montana_24 |
General Discussions about our Montanas |
0 |
09-14-2003 02:44 PM |
|
» Recent Threads |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|