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Old 11-18-2004, 01:23 AM   #1
Glenn and Lorraine
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Old is when.........

"OLD" is when your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, pick one because I can't do both!"
"OLD" is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" is when going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" is when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" is when "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
"OLD" is when "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" is when "all nighter" means not getting up to potty !
"OLD" is when your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
"OLD" is when the gleam in your eyes comes from the sun hitting your bifocals
"OLD" is when your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
"OLD" is when a fortune-teller offered to read your face
"OLD" is when you quit pulling out your gray hairs, because you could end up bald.
"OLD" is when your back/knee go out more than you do.
"OLD" is when you once owned a lot of 45s ... records, not guns.
"OLD" is when your grandchildren study events in history that you lived through .
"OLD" is when at one time you thought pong, 8-track tapes or cars with fins were cutting edge technology.
"OLD" is when you can remember when gasoline was under 25 cents a gallon and full service, too.
"OLD" is when a loaf of bread cost a nickle.
"OLD" is when things you once owned shown up on Antiques Road Show.
"OLD" is when your spirit Is willing... but the rest of you wants to take a nap.
"OLD" is when you shop for comfortable shoes rather than cool ones.
"OLD" is when you tell your children all rap music sounds the same. (Remember when you parents said that about your music?)
"OLD" is when know what your company retirement plan is.
"OLD" is when it takes twice as long to look half as good.
"OLD" is when you still chase members of the opposite sex, but you can't remember why.
"OLD" is when you look forward to a dull evening.
"OLD" is when you walk with your head high… trying to get used to your bifocals.
"OLD" is when you turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
"OLD" is when you sing along with the elevator music. (When the music of the 50's and 60's is played by 101 Strings in the elevator, it’s just sad.)
"OLD" is when you hear yourself say things that your parents always said ... and you hated.
"OLD" is when you find photographs in your album of people you don't remember - at all
"OLD" is when cold pizza, warm beer and stale chips no longer qualifies as "breakfast"
"OLD" is when everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
"OLD" is when you feel like the morning after when you weren't anywhere the night before.
"OLD" is when your children begin to look middle aged.
"OLD" is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
"OLD" is when you sit in a rocking chair but can't get it going.
"OLD" is when the little gray-haired lady who helped you across the street is your wife.
"OLD" is when you can remember having the 1st TV on your block.

and my favorite...

"OLD" is when you can remember BC... "Before Computers". When the hand crank adding machine was considered modern technology.


Got Anymore???????
 
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Old 11-18-2004, 03:58 AM   #2
Sue
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Those are a riot!
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Old 11-18-2004, 06:14 AM   #3
Bob and Sheri
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Great Glenn---How true! Thanks for the laughs.
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Old 11-18-2004, 09:46 AM   #4
NJ Hillbilly
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I remember when You had to get up to change the channel on the tv.
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Old 11-18-2004, 10:49 AM   #5
sreigle
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I can relate to a **few** of those!
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Old 11-18-2004, 11:11 AM   #6
stiles watson
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Remembering Gasoline at $.25 a Gal. and Cigarettes at $.25 a pack.
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Old 11-18-2004, 11:19 AM   #7
Glenn and Lorraine
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I remember when cigarettes were 27 cents a pack in the vending machines. BUT the vending machines did not make change nor did they take pennies. So, you put a quarter and a nickle in the machine and pulled the lever. Out came your pack of smokes with 3 cents sealed inside the cellophane wrapper.
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Old 11-18-2004, 03:56 PM   #8
tbhd
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BOY ARE THOSE ALL TRUE!!! cause I can remember them.
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Old 11-19-2004, 03:07 AM   #9
Bowie
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REALLY old is when your KIDS toys show up on Antiques Roadshow.
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Old 11-19-2004, 03:38 AM   #10
DHenry
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I have seen gas prices as low as $.149 per gallon.
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Old 11-19-2004, 03:40 AM   #11
Montana_31
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I don't have anything to add. It's official, I'm old!
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Old 11-19-2004, 05:54 AM   #12
sreigle
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by DHenry

I have seen gas prices as low as $.149 per gallon.
Oh, yes, that's the lowest price I ever saw in a gas war! I was in college, had a '62 Corvair with an 8-gallon gas tank. Filled it up for less than a buck!
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Old 11-19-2004, 07:28 AM   #13
Sue
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You know your old when the same girls you work with used to bring in "girly products" for the closet in the bathroom, now it's stocked with "Ben Gay" patches and "Thermacare" back wraps!!
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Old 11-19-2004, 08:13 AM   #14
Glenn and Lorraine
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My brother taught 11th and 12th grade high school for 35 years and I remember him commenting..."You know you are getting old when one of your new students tell you that you were also his Mom and Dad's teacher". He retired before the 3rd generation came to his class.
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Old 11-21-2004, 08:35 AM   #15
Glenn and Lorraine
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You're old when your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
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Old 11-21-2004, 10:10 AM   #16
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You are old when the Oldie but Goodies radio station is playing the songs your kids listened to when they were teenagers.
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Old 11-21-2004, 11:32 AM   #17
Glenn and Lorraine
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Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have taken a long walk outside everyday for the past 75 years now."

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a long walk."
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Old 11-21-2004, 12:38 PM   #18
Glenn and Lorraine
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A post named "Furnace Vents" reminded me.......

Old is when you remember having to use an outhouse as there was NO indoor plumbing.
Talk about an icy cold winter morning with no heat vent to warm up the area.!! Even if it was just 10 degrees and you had to go you went to the outhouse. Talk about COLD, BBBBRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

A good part of the reason we winter in Florida.
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Old 11-21-2004, 01:26 PM   #19
sreigle
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Glenn, I remember the outhouse, the gas lights, and no running water from my grandparents' farmhouse. I remember well the middle of the night trips to the outhouse but more than the cold I remember the distant howling coyotes. Boy could I run fast between house and outhouse and back! Scared me to death.
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Old 11-21-2004, 05:58 PM   #20
Montana_2437
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"OLD" is when you cannot remember what was on the list by the time it takes to hit the reply button.
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