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Old 12-02-2008, 09:04 AM   #1
Glenn and Lorraine
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For those recently retired

For those recently retired or are planning on retiring soon.....

It's important for us men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of house-keeping as when they were younger.

When you begin to notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

Let me tell you how I handled the situation with my wife, Lorraine.

When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Lorraine to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.

I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not a practicable alternative.

Besides, I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for the dishes to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can, by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that "they won't clean themselves."

I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging, I think, is complaining. For example, she'll say that it's difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.

But, boys... we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.

I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her (if you know what I mean).

I like to think tact is one of my stronger points.

And when doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. For instance, she had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard.

I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for awhile. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me.

I know, I know..... I probably look like a saint by the way I support her.

I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.

Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.

However guys, even if you just start using a little more tact and a little less criticism of your aging wife due to this article, I'll consider that by writing it, it was well worthwhile.

After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Good luck.

Signed, Glenn

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Glenn died suddenly on December 1st of a perforated rectum.

The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip left showing, and a sledgehammer laying nearby.

His wife Lorraine was arrested and charged with murder.

The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty.

They accepted her defence that Glenn, somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
 
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:11 AM   #2
blamb
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LOL.

I've seen that before, but it is so much funnier with it edited with your names. :P
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:49 AM   #3
exav8tr
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Glenn, I was wondering how you could still be around to write that.LOL
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:59 AM   #4
Jolu
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I was wondering if Glenn got Lorraine a vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day.
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Old 12-02-2008, 10:48 AM   #5
Glenn and Lorraine
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Jolu

I was wondering if Glenn got Lorraine a vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day.
Vacuum Cleaner??? Heck no. He got her a broom and dust pan but that was for Christmas.
For Valentines Day he got her a case of Dawn dishwashing liquid. This way she can do all the dishes without dishpan hands. Glenn hated dish pan hands when she was massaging his back after a hard day on the golf course. AND she can also use that same Dawn to wash the roof of the Monty.
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Old 12-02-2008, 11:37 AM   #6
Bill-N-Donna
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Lorraine, sorry to hear about the misfortunate accident;
Maybe I’ll get to retire one of these days but the only thing is that I don’t play golf, maybe that’s a good thing!
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Old 12-02-2008, 04:08 PM   #7
Waynem
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Lorraine,
You can come stay with me (us) and I don't play golf so you can cut out that part of the equation.

Earlene could use the help!
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Old 12-03-2008, 07:12 AM   #8
itaves
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LOL!! That absolutely made my day!!! Thanks Glenn & Lorraine for a much-needed laugh!! This is the time of the year that gets pretty stressful in my line of work ... I manage a shopping mall. Thanks again for sharing that hilarious bit of "advice."

Irene
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