Humor

[Waynem]

SMART A** ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters
Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in
front. 'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART A** ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the
departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

SMART A** ANSWER #4 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

SMART A** ANSWER #3 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who
was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting f or you all day,' the cop said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART A** ANSWER #2 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, ' Low Bridge overhead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'

SMART A** ANSWER OF THE YEAR -- A college teacher reminds her clA** of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now clA**, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-A** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire clA** is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her he ad and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'