Argggg, It's painful - Montana Owners Club

stiles watson · 06-19-2005, 06:11 PM

Saying you are going to rid yourself of all this stuff and go fulltime, and then doing the deed is two entirely different things. Shakespear was an idiot when he said, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." We agonized over the coat closet for Pete's sakes. Too many coats even though they serve different purposes. I threw away and gave away half my clothing and still have too much.

These decisions have to be made whether we fulltime or go to Hong Kong. I suppose I want to be like Peter Pan and have it all magically happen without all the effort. Probably more than seeking advice, I am just using the forum to ventilate my angst. Well, back to the reality of sorting and deciding.

CountryGuy · 06-20-2005, 02:04 AM

Stiles,

Your dilemna is what scares the bejeebies out of us. John and Marge can attest, we have a LOT of stuff! The clothes I could handle, it is the family heirlooms and my research that would be a major problem. Since we are still bound to the stick built for a number of other reasons than "stuff", we are looking at a lot of alternatives that may be available and workable for us.

Hope you feel better now that you got that off your chest!

Good luck!

jrgwdenner · 06-20-2005, 02:49 AM

We have the same battle, Stiles, at least in the thought processes, since that's as far as we've gotten. The release of the less sentimental things is easy, whether they are valuable or not. But the sentimental stuff is hard to me to let go, even if it has no value to anyone else. We will probably be moving in a year or so and we will have to get tough, whether we fulltime or not. I've never heard that the process was easy but heard it was liberating, once done.

richfaa · 06-20-2005, 02:53 AM

Helen and I had the same concerns and more over ..to full time or not. We decided NOT to full time at least in terms of downsizing to a camper and all that goes with it. We will still "follow the sun" out of Northern, Ohio. We will still take long trips to see places and things.The main issue was how to keep up the 'stick home" while on the road.There is the Maint issue and the Finanical issue.My FAA job had us away at schools for LONG periods of time in OKC so we know the maint issue can be dealt with. Home cost will go down.No need for a home phone, Cable or sat Tv, no DSl or internet service, utilities will go down. Now you will still need internet service on the road but that cost is off set by the home savings and with good long term planning and a little luck perhaps there is no or a small mortgage payment..Another alternative is to store the "stuff" you can not part with and for us that is a lot of stuff..however , for example the storage facility we used to store our Silverado TV cost 145 per month last year and we would need the same size bin for "stuff" And Helen noted that we can't full time forever and sooner or later..sooner no doubt we would have to buy a stick something all over again with the expense that goes with that, remember you got rid of EVERYTHING. You really need to do a lot of thinking and bean counting before a decesion is made as to what is best for you. We think we will be able to do all that we wanted to do in retirement without downsizing to a camper. That's just us of course.

Kathi · 06-20-2005, 02:57 AM

We fill your pain!!! We have a 2000 sq. ft. house that once housed 1 kid w/2 bedrooms because she had so much stuff, and 2 adults. After 33 years I have come to the decision that I must part with something. The front coat closet is so full that you couldn't possibly put another coat in it (I only use 1 and Paul uses one) and we have a coat rack full...Then moving on to my daughters 2 BEDROOMS, when she got married, she left everything. We are now left with the chore of putting most of it into the Monty and hauling it all the way to Montana to her. She has Law books, High School picture books, things her grandfather and grandmother made her, to much to name. We got it all in the Monty....Now we just have to get it out. I did go through all of my picture albums and am taking all of them and pics to her to. She can go through them and then do what she wants with the rest. I have found after my illness that there just isn't to much that is important in life except your life and how you life it. Paul has the right idea. If you haven't used or seen it in 2 years then it goes. I said BUT WHAT IF? He said, Nope! It goes. Ok, then it goes.....Good luck I know what a decision it can really be. Kathi

Glenn and Lorraine · 06-20-2005, 03:00 AM

Sometimes you just gotta do it. We did and though it wasn't easy once you've done it you'll wonder why it was so difficult. For the most part Lorraine and I haven't missed the stuff we had collected in over 30 years of marraige. As far as the heirlooms are concerned, give them to the kids. Afterall that's where they are going to end up anyway so why make the kids wait? You will also find whether or not the kids consider them heirlooms or just some old stuff Mom and Dad just couldn't toss out.

Carol, Put your research on CD's. It's amazing how much will fit on one little CD. The stuff that can't be put on a CD can be stored at a family members home or a storage unit.

CountryGuy · 06-20-2005, 03:09 AM

Glenn, the problem with getting it to a CD, is that all the documents must be scanned first. Ohhh, that is my master plan!>G>G I have already started, file by file, scanning the documents into the data base. It will be the plan of attack from now on, so, that if we get to the point where the house goes (and that is an option, believe me) I will have handled that situation first. I do all my backups of photos and documents and the data base to a CD now, so far it all fits on a CD, but the new computer also burns DVD's so currently am using those as well!

I also am cleaning out drawers and closets, as another ongoing project. Last fall Al and I spent a number of weeks, cleaning every room. Got a lot done, and the garbage men were VERY busy and a number of trips were made to Goodwill. This project will start up again in the fall, as we are going to be on the road from now till mid September, with 2 short stops back here inbetween.

A little work, a little fun. errrr, a LOT of fun, when it is in Montana!

stiles watson · 06-20-2005, 03:56 AM

I have noticed that this is a layered process. You do the initial cleaning and sorting. Out stuff goes to the trash or to charity if decent. But you kept too much. So you have to go through another round of divesting. Still got too much!!! Curses and tin foil!!! Got to dump some more!!! Then I want to do my ostrich act. You know, ignore it and hope it will just go away.

CountryGuy · 06-20-2005, 04:01 AM

Stiles,

You have such a way with words! Even when you are stressed you leave me laughing! I'd bet that any fulltimer that as gone through the process could not have put it any better!!

Curses and tin foil! LOVE THAT!

jrgwdenner · 06-20-2005, 04:13 AM

Why keep something that could be a BLESSING to someone else? That thought has made it easier for me to give up things that I just "like to keep". We recently bought two acres in Hood County, Texas so there will probably be a move in our future. It's near our two granddaughters. Since we will be moving ourselves we will have to downsize to reduce moving expenses. So it will be the perfect time for us to fulltime for a few years. Since storage totals about $200 - $300 per month, you have to do the math to see how much your storage bill might be over a period of five years. It will probably be about $15,000. How much furniture can you replace for $15,000? Probably a lot in our case since we don't buy expensive stuff. Somewhere there is a balance and that's what we're looking for in our plan. You also have to consider how the stored stuff will or will not stand up to the elements since most will not be in climate controlled storage. More to think about.

Montana_2779 · 06-20-2005, 04:37 AM

I've gotta admit, we had the exact opposite reaction to the downsizing. For us, the impetus to rid ourselves of all of the duplicates in our closets (and cupboards and garage, etc) brought great relief. The more we got rid of, the more we enjoyed the task. The phrase, "Why the $%#@ do I need three of those?!" came up more often than not.

As I look back, the best thing we did was to plan for the downsizing to take a year (give or take). We spent the first six months having garage sales every two to three weeks. Unlike Cheryl, I enjoy sitting around on Saturday morning, chatting with the neighbors. As such, the garage sales fell mostly to me. The yearlong journey also gave us the time necessary to scan all of our docs and move all of our info from the desktop to our laptops. As I had been running a small home studio for the previous five years, it was nice to have the time to jockey the information at my liesure. Cheryl (the family CFO) was the principle in the big information transition. She has all of our books and bill paying on-line now.

We had assumed that our house would sell pretty quickly. As soon as our Chevy arrived (special order), we sold the majority of the furniture and listed the relatively empty house. So much for good planning-- it was another six months before we got a buyer. Yes, it was a bit uncomfortable to have lawn chairs as our primary furniture (we still had our bed, thank goodness!), BUT there was an up-side! After living in an empty house for several months, moving into a fully furnished 5er was like moving into a palace! In the end, we are finding that we have a much greater appretiation for the new lifestyle after having gone through some of the trials and tribulations associated wiht the change. Like Glenn and Lorraine, we find that we don't miss the stuff we left behind! The stuff we really wanted is with us! (and it's much better organized now)

sreigle · 06-20-2005, 05:02 AM

Stiles, you are making this too hard! At least IMHO! You need THREE categories: 1) take with us. 2) Give away, trash, or sell. 3) Store it for later retrieval. That last one is what you do with those things you cannot bear to part with or think you want to keep for later as well as those things you will not part with for whatever reason. There is climate-controlled secure storage available. There are also kids' basements (turnabout....).

1) take with us. For this we took everything we thought we might need or want, so long as we could find a place to store it. This includes all clothes we plan to use, both summer and winter (space bags under the bed are great for storing the off season clothes). Each time you return to your "home area" or near the kids, go through everything and offload anything you've not used and likely won't.

2) We got rid of everything we felt we could easily replace later. That includes furniture. We kept some furniture we felt could not be replaced or we had some kind of attachment to. Category 3 for those. We sold some things (snowblower, etc.) to neighbors, gave some things (lawn mower, etc.) to our kids (pretty much anything in our pile they wanted), then had an estate auction company pick up the rest and send us a check after the sale. Some things went to charities before the sale, also.

3) We're using our kids' basement but originally planned to use climate controlled, secure, storage for those things we will want to retrieve when we again settle down. This category frees you from some of the anguish you are experiencing. Besides some furniture and heirlooms We stored some of my tools, those that are not with us. Some are in the truck's toolbox. Storage also settles those arguments where you cannot both agree it stays or goes.

This is just how we approached it and is not necessarily the best approach for everyone. I haven't yet read all the replies carefully so I may have duplicated others.

Kathi, we had a similar situation to you. We loaded our daughter's things into the Montana and hauled it all from Topeka, KS, to Panama City, FL. It was a bit dicey maneuvering inside the Montana during that trip. We had to rearrange things just to be able to uncover the furnace ducts (this was on our 5-week trial run for fulltiming, back in January, 2003).

sreigle · 06-20-2005, 05:57 AM

"Life is an adventure unfolding"

Looks to me like you are living your signature, Stiles!

richfaa · 06-20-2005, 05:58 AM

Sounds like everyone who is thinking of full timing or is full timing went through the same process. Helen and I have sorted out a lot of stuff..like the coat closet with 23 coats for two people and Helen still had stuff from High school.Salvation Army, Vietnam vets, Garage sales,Community care, Church groups. They all love us. We went through the process of clearing out my Parents home after both of them passed away that they lived in for 60 years and things that were treasure to them was just trash to us.So most of the stuff that you have will one day be trashed by your kids anyhow so why not do it now. The clearing out is a good process and the "stuff" issue was not the determining factor in not to full time. You know how you walked into that camper and just knew that it was what you wanted. Well it was the same feeling with full timing with both of us..it is just not what we wanted..If it is go for it. The good news is that Helen got rid of all her 60's and 70's clothes..gave them to the local theater group. did the same with our parents old stuff..they were glad to have them...

sreigle · 06-20-2005, 06:12 AM

I agree with Rich on most of that but suggest you make a list or create a pile and ask the kids what they want. It is surprising what kids remember, things they find remind them of you that they want to have and to keep. Things you'd never dream were important to them. For example, when Vicki's Mom passed away, Vicki wanted her bean pot and fiesta bowls because she remembered those as parts of her childhood. You just never know what someone will find important, so maybe let them decide. Just a thought. Also, some things remain important to us and are either with us or stored. The kids can have those when we're gone but for now we're keeping them!

richfaa · 06-20-2005, 08:08 AM

Steve is correct about what may be important to you or the kids..We did that with our parents. One persons junk may be anothers treasure..However I have stored away in the attic every one of my school books from my FAA academy days..they are a treasure to me ..remind me of the blood, sweat and tears involved in geting througn that stuff and sometimes my own notes on the pages reflect who I was and what I was thinking those many years ago. I have tried to trash them many times but can't do it.I am sure they will just be "'some of Dads old school books " one day and wind up in the trash.

sreigle · 06-20-2005, 01:36 PM

Rich, I would bet those notes will be treasure to your kids. I know my Dad treasures his father's bible, the one with the hand-written notes in the margins (he was a minister and passed away when my Dad was nine).

richfaa · 06-20-2005, 01:55 PM

That's what we mean Steve..you wind up keeping all that stuff..Don't know how you did it. I mean how could Helen get rid of the dress that she wore on our very first date.( i did not have a clue) Of course I said..remember it well..Or the license plate from my 64 Chevy. Or Aunt Mabel's Table, a horrible looking 40's kitchen table that Helen sat around when she was a little girl... You go through a ton of stuff and throw away about 2 pounds. I give up...

jrgwdenner · 06-20-2005, 05:25 PM

Pete, hit on one of the reasons that living in a fifth wheel is appealing to me, other than the traveling. I love being organized and I can keep this small space in some sort of control. Can't do that with a house full of stuff.

hodag · 06-21-2005, 02:45 AM

judy and i are in the process of clearing out the house, getting ready to sell it. we keep thinking we will have a home base but haven,t figured it out yet. the nice part is not having to worry because the montana is ready to go and we are too. never thought i,d be a fulltimer but this may be the time to give it a try. lots of people doing it.

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