Old is when.........

[Glenn and Lorraine]

"OLD" is when your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, pick one because I can't do both!"
"OLD" is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" is when going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" is when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" is when "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
"OLD" is when "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" is when "all nighter" means not getting up to potty !
"OLD" is when your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
"OLD" is when the gleam in your eyes comes from the sun hitting your bifocals
"OLD" is when your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
"OLD" is when a fortune-teller offered to read your face
"OLD" is when you quit pulling out your gray hairs, because you could end up bald.
"OLD" is when your back/knee go out more than you do.
"OLD" is when you once owned a lot of 45s ... records, not guns.
"OLD" is when your grandchildren study events in history that you lived through .
"OLD" is when at one time you thought pong, 8-track tapes or cars with fins were cutting edge technology.
"OLD" is when you can remember when gasoline was under 25 cents a gallon and full service, too.
"OLD" is when a loaf of bread cost a nickle.
"OLD" is when things you once owned shown up on Antiques Road Show.
"OLD" is when your spirit Is willing... but the rest of you wants to take a nap.
"OLD" is when you shop for comfortable shoes rather than cool ones.
"OLD" is when you tell your children all rap music sounds the same. (Remember when you parents said that about your music?)
"OLD" is when know what your company retirement plan is.
"OLD" is when it takes twice as long to look half as good.
"OLD" is when you still chase members of the opposite sex, but you can't remember why.
"OLD" is when you look forward to a dull evening.
"OLD" is when you walk with your head high… trying to get used to your bifocals.
"OLD" is when you turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
"OLD" is when you sing along with the elevator music. (When the music of the 50's and 60's is played by 101 Strings in the elevator, it’s just sad.)
"OLD" is when you hear yourself say things that your parents always said ... and you hated.
"OLD" is when you find photographs in your album of people you don't remember - at all
"OLD" is when cold pizza, warm beer and stale chips no longer qualifies as "breakfast"
"OLD" is when everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
"OLD" is when you feel like the morning after when you weren't anywhere the night before.
"OLD" is when your children begin to look middle aged.
"OLD" is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
"OLD" is when you sit in a rocking chair but can't get it going.
"OLD" is when the little gray-haired lady who helped you across the street is your wife.
"OLD" is when you can remember having the 1st TV on your block.

and my favorite...

"OLD" is when you can remember BC... "Before Computers". When the hand crank adding machine was considered modern technology.


Got Anymore???????