When they call...and call, and call

[nosticks]

Nah, you're missing an opportunity. Go to a Marine Store and buy one of the small portable air horns. Next, wad up some kitchen wrap, (Glad Wrap etc), in a ball. Engage them in conversation but start crinkling the kitchen wrap over the microphone as you speak, (it simulates static), when you're sure they are listening intently, blast them with the boat horn.

[DonandBonnie]

Somewhere out there in internet land is a recording of a telemarketer getting the third degree from the homeowner posing as a police detective. It gets pretty funny when the "detective" attempts to implicate the telemarketer in a murder investigation.

Dropping the land line got rid of most unsolicited phone calls. The rest go to voice mail to sort out later. I end much of the junk mail by stuffing everything they send back in their postage paid envelope with the application marked "No thanks" If they persist the note gets a little stronger. In the end they tire of paying postage to get their junk back.

[Ozz]

Ha, we have some very creative...and a little scary...folks out there. Be aware telemarketers.

[Jay Bird]

I have a good one. My mother in law had passed by a few years. the callers insisted on speaking to her. tried to let them know she had passed. Still they called. So i finaly gave in and gave them the number to the cementry where she was buried and told them she could be reached there. no more calls.
Rosetta

[exav8tr]

I didn't like these call either when I had a land line, in Alaska. Since switching to cell phones and adding my name to the DoNotCall list, I get very few. Political calls are exempt. These are the ones I really hate. Having said this, the people doing this are just trying to make a living as I once had to. I did try and cut them some slack and just say no thank you and hung up. I know alot of these people are rude, but If I got hung up on all day I would be a rude dude also. I'm just saying.........

[DonandBonnie]

I found it! Google "Tom Mabe - Telemarketer Crime Scene Prank" There are several sites that have it listed. Now this is the way to have fun with a telemarketer. Caution: Some content may be considered offensive.

[CamillaMichael]

Caller ID is the way to go...if you do not recognize the number, don't answer.

[CasaDelSol]

I had a telemarketer call once and I asked her for her phone number so I could report the abuse to the proper people. She said her number was 1-800-kiss my as*. I almost broke an artery while fussing and fuming!! However, it is now one of my favorite stories to tell. We did purchase something about a dozen years ago called "The Phone Butler". It is a little device you attach to the phone and when a call comes in that you don't want you ask the person to hold a moment. At the time you press the star key and a recorded message says something like this: Pardon me but this is the phone butler speaking. The person at this number declines your offer and requests to be placed on your do not call list. Good Day. I once had someone call me right back and ask me to play it for their boss cuz they thought it was so funny and clever. I don't know if it is still available, but mine still works!!

[nosticks]

Ok guys, one more thing. This really works, and when I had a land line and answering machine it was priceless. Your answering machine needs the recording from the telephone company that says "The number you have reached is no longer in service". followed by the annoying tones you get when that really happens. Find a number you know is no good and record it. You let your friends know you have done this and they will wait for the tone to leave a message. The rest of the clowns will hang up.

[richfaa]

We have not had a land line for several years and do not get telemarketing calls.

[CORattler]

I have caller ID and can use it to sort out most of the soliciting calls. It even pops up on my TV when I'm watching it. If by chance one gets through I just begin speaking in another language. The conversation shortens dramatically.... Je ne comprends pas l'anglais ( I do not speak english )

[CasaDelSol]

I once put the following outgoing message on my answering machine: "If you are looking for money, the check is in the mail. If you are a telemarkteter, take me off your list. All friends and family please leave a message." DH made me change it!!!

[doofus]

"Hello, you have reached 603-xxx-xxxx. The answering machine is on vacation. This... is the refrigerator. Please leave a message. I will write it on a Post-It note and stick it to myself so Paul will find it later."

DW made me change that one...