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Old 11-26-2004, 02:09 PM   #1
Glenn and Lorraine
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Location: Clearwater
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Spell Czech

Eye halve a spelling chequer. It came with my pea see.
It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say
Weather eye am rung oar rite. It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist take is maid, it nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite. Its rarely ever rung.

Eye have run this poem threw it, I am shore your pleased too no
Its letter perfect in its weigh. My chequer tolled me sew.
 
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Old 11-26-2004, 03:28 PM   #2
t1mrtork
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I love that. I wish I were that creative! You two must be a blast to hang around. I look forword to meeting you someday.
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Old 11-27-2004, 12:36 AM   #3
Glenn and Lorraine
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by t1mrtork

I love that. I wish I were that creative! You two must be a blast to hang around. I look forword to meeting you someday.
Thanks timrtork, I only wish I could take the credits.
Around this rig it's called "Creative Reading". But actually it's "Creative Reader's Digest circa May 2004"
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Old 11-27-2004, 08:09 AM   #4
sreigle
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T1mrtork, they are fun to be around! We had the pleasure at the rally. Glenn is a hoot. And Lorraine is an angel for putting up with him!
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Old 11-27-2004, 03:17 PM   #5
Emmel
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We agree with Steve, been there, done that and can't wait to do it again.
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Old 12-06-2004, 04:30 AM   #6
NJ Hillbilly
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I found one that I had archived:

SO, YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO TRY TO LEARN ENGLISH?

This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the
brave. It was passed on by a linguist, original author unknown. Peruse
at your leisure, English lovers, but be sure to read aloud. Reasons why
the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He'd be able to lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present,! he thought it was time to
present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it -English is a crazy language.--

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine
in pineapple.--

English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France.--

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig
is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?--

One goose, 2 geese . So one moose, 2 meese ? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane.In what other language do people recite
at a play and play at a recital?--

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?--

Have noses that run and feet that smell?--

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick".....huh, WHY
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Old 12-06-2004, 05:47 PM   #7
tbhd
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And one more for the records, why do we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?
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