For the Engineers among us - Montana Owners Club

richfaa · 03-27-2007, 12:11 PM

Understanding Engineers - Take One:

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, Minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a Particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with Him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

BONUS

A very self-important university freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world. Actually, an almost primitive one," the student said loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon and our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light speed processing and...," pausing to take another drink of beer.

The senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young. We invented them! Now, tell me, what are you doing for the next generation"?

ANOTHER BONUS:

A Polish immigrant was at the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy

Craig A · 03-27-2007, 01:05 PM

I guess you gotta be an engineer (or their spouse) to appreciate these. I thought they were great.

Longwell · 03-27-2007, 03:56 PM

After 30 years working with computers, I know many who actually think like that, and I enjoy their perspectives.
Larry

Ozzie · 03-27-2007, 04:05 PM

LOL...now that was a good read - thanks for making my day.

ken · 03-27-2007, 04:27 PM

Rich
You made my day. Thanks. As an engineer, there is a lot of truth in this. We march to a different tune sometimes.

richfaa · 03-27-2007, 05:52 PM

As a Engineering Technician (ET)(retired) I know these guys... My wife sent this to me..

Tom Gina 06 · 03-27-2007, 07:49 PM

How the truth is brought into perspective......

Mudchief · 03-28-2007, 12:08 PM

Rich, thanks for the great laugh with these.

simonsrf · 04-02-2007, 06:20 AM

Rich,

You did it! Yep, you finally posted something I can understand.

Thanks Helen for continuing to keep everything in its proper persepctive.

Montana_1953 · 04-02-2007, 07:38 AM

As a mechanical Engineer for over 30 years (from RIT)I resemble these remarks.

It does extend to the camping also. For example planning trips years in advance , carrying way two many tools (does not everyone need two dital multimeters , in case the first one dies)

azstar · 04-02-2007, 11:10 AM

Guilty as Charged.

Thanks for the reminder Rich.

DCP · 04-04-2007, 08:49 AM

As a former mechanical engineer, these were great!

VanMan · 04-04-2007, 09:34 AM

Well you can sure tell the retired - they no longer have to be concerned with zero tolerance diversity sensitivity or political correctness !!

richfaa · 04-05-2007, 04:38 AM

We have 3 multi meters on board 2 of them being digital one being the Fluke 8050A..but can't part with my favorite the analog triplett (VOM) Model 60-na. Think I will downsize to the Triplett VOM..I need to see a needle move.

simonsrf · 04-05-2007, 04:48 AM

Rich,

You are toooo funny. Glad you have Helen and the bird to keep you reeled in!

Ok, so when is my favorite engineer going to get back on the road? I need comments with pizaaaaz! You are my test model....so don't stop travelling!....I'm learning every day about what NOT to do!

richfaa · 04-05-2007, 03:52 PM

Right now the 3400 is in the driveway and it looks like it exploded. We are moving everything out of it, sorting out what we did not use or have no clue as to why we packed it in the first place. The empty side of our 2 car garage is filling up. The inside is filthy courtesy of Arizona, New ,Mexico and Texas dust..Helen is cleaning front to back, side to side.I can not describe what the outside looks like, dirt, grime, bugs..Right now it looks good because there is about 6 INCHES OF SNOW ON IT....We will be camping with our local group through mid June then we are off to Colorado and some of those states in that area.MOC rally in Sept and we already decided that our next winter trip will start before Xgiving and not end till the middle of May. we can't beleive that it SNOWED on us...

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