Funny word info

[HamRad]

I would like to take credit for the creation of this but alas I cannot do it. If it weren't for spell checker they'd have already hauled me off to a reeducation camp somewhere.

Enjoy it I did. We just received it from a friend. That's all I know about it. Did not do any research. If you read it and like it then you can thank me. If you read it and don't like it then know that it was not a very close friend! Dennis



* THIS IS GREAT!!! took a lot of work to put together!!!

* You think English is easy??? Read to the end ... a new twist

* 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

* 2) The farm was used to produce produce.

* 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

* 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

* 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

* 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

* 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

* 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

* 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

* 10) I did not object to the object.

* 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

* 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...

* 13) They were too close to the door to close it.

* 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

* 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

* 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

* 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

* 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

* 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

* 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

* Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant,
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English * for
granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work
slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea * nor
is it a pig.

* And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't * groce
and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the * plural
of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2
indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

* If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English
speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck * and
send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

* How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you * fill
in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on..

* English was invented by people not computers and it reflects the * creativity
of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why * when
the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are
invisible.

* PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

* You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

* There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other
two-letter word, and that is 'UP'

* It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting,
why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP
for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

* We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the
silver; we warmUP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the
house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has
real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP
an appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be
dressed UP is special.

* And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped * UP
* We openUP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

* We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the
proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list * of
the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you
don't give UP ,you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens * to
rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When the sun comes out we say it is
clearing UP...

* When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

* When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

* One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP ,
so........it is time to shut UP !

[Bill-N-Donna]

Trying to figure that out might keep you up all night!

[Wayne and Carolyn Mathews]

Great material for my English classes.

Carolyn

[grampachet]

I park my Monte in the driveway and tow it down the parkway.

[HamRad]

Carolyn,
I had not thought about using it as a tool for school but you're right. It would make a great lesson or two. Good luck and see you at 7 Feathers.

Chet and Verna,
I like that and it should be added to the long list!

Enjoy folk, Dennis

[helmick]

Dennis
That was quite a write up.
Hope to see you next week up in Jackson.
Ron

[CORattler]

Funny, English is my first language and it doesn't seem hard at all.
Le Français est ma deuxième langue et est encore dur pour moi !