Driving in Phoenix

[Kathi]

HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX:

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "FEE-NICKS".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, Your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is Considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the Right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
Barrels,cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone,you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.


12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

[Wagonmaster]

Kathy: It sounds like you are ready to move to AZ. You have everything down pat. Tucson isn't far behind Phoenix. Jack

[richfaa]

kathi..Boy is that right on. The insurance rates here must be out of sight. I Thought the LA freeways were bad.....nope..The Phoenix area has Got to be the worst in the USA. On the morning and evening news they have a huge traffic grid on the news plotting the accidents on the roads you mention..it is very scarry.

[refocused]

Sounds about like San Antonio!

[JimF]

Ha, San Antonio doesn't have traffic. SA has perhaps the most courteous drivers I personally have ever seen. Try Paris for a real hoot, or LA or "Fee-Nix"...

[AZCampinfool]

Hey Kathi, just imagine if it was snowing also!!

[jrgwdenner]

It was snowing in Arizona today! Imagine our surprise on the drive back from Sedona when we found ourselves driving in snow, enough to accumulate on the ground. So now it's cold again. The Phoenix traffic is something!

[gojodo]

So true! I10 is about the onlly freeway and what a mess. Once spent 5 hours in a snails pace just to get through Pheonix on the way to my sister in law in Tucson. Pot holders on hands good idea as well as long sleve shirt, boy was my arm burned.

Dorothy & John

[Tom Gina 06]

Nothing better than getting the old ice fishing wear out and heading to the nearest bridge end with your lawn chair and cooler full of toddies. Then watch the imprompto demo derby.
To drive in the DFW area the same list would apply.

[exav8tr]

Kathi, your list was a hoot. My son lives in Phoenix (Mesa) and commutes across town every day. I sent him this list and he agrees with everything. Last night he told me he passed a cop and was doing 78. speed limit 65, Cop did nothing (maybe he was going for donuts or something. He did say he thought San Diego was worse. Anyway - Good Laughs!!!!!

[Dustytuu]

PParamore,

Our son also lives in Higens AZ. He can say same about the traffic. He also moved there from San Diego. Last Sunday he witnessed some road rage. Guy wouldn't let anyone around him on street and then would slow down to a crawl.

Kathi, this could also apply here in Denver area. Funny list.