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Old 09-10-2009, 02:12 PM   #1
adelmoll
Montana Master
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Silver Springs
Posts: 2,873
M.O.C. #2716
Luv it!

I love this Doctor.....


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it.... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.



Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain.. Bottoms up!



Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!



Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO… Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!



Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.


AND.....


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:


1. The Japanese eat very little fat


And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat


And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


3. The Chinese drink very little red wine


And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine


And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats


And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



CONCLUSION:


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
 
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Old 09-10-2009, 03:59 PM   #2
sailer
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Bonita Springs
Posts: 1,943
M.O.C. #6977
Well Helen Go into any store in FL and most speack spanish so maybe we learn ,, my brother in tanzana speaks swealy so he looks great at 80 this year as he was back in the states for 2 months ,,,,sailer
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Old 09-10-2009, 04:42 PM   #3
grampachet
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,107
M.O.C. #8045
Well I just visited my Chinese doctor today for the "complete" physical. He must not have read the notes from your doctor as he was a little more on the "ya better get things back on the right track" attitude.
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Old 09-10-2009, 05:43 PM   #4
bigmurf
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Sunshine
Posts: 1,445
M.O.C. #538
Went to my old American doctor today for a physical. Even got a free digital exam (well he was ex Navy). Didn't even get the lose weight speach. Guess he finally gave up.
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Old 09-11-2009, 02:25 AM   #5
Glenn and Lorraine
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Clearwater
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M.O.C. #420
Helen, I LUV your doctor and wanna make an appointment. Do you have his name, address and phone #??
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