Pet Owners, Post on refrigerator door----

[Glenn and Lorraine]

POST ON REFRIGERATOR DOOR (PET NOSE HEIGHT)

To my Dear Furry children,
The dishes with the PAW prints are yours and contain your food.
The OTHER dishes are MINE and contain MY food, Please Note, Placing a PAW print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a Race TRACK. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
DOGS & CATS can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit for the bathroom. If my some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - - canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear furry children, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-pet Owners who visit and Like to Complain About my Pets:

1. They live here. You Don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "FUR"NITURE
3. I like my pets a lot better that I like most people.
4. To you, they are an animal. To me, HE/SHE is an adopted SON/DAUGHTER who is short, hairy walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: DOGS & CATS are getter than kids because they:
1. Eat Less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't Smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college
and lastly
11. If they get pregnant, you can legally sell their children

May you all have a wonderful day

[gojodo]

That was great!


John & Dorothy
Millie, Maxwell and Sadie

[bncinwv]

I concur, as I always tell the DW, I think that it is nice that our home-owners (dog and cat) agree to let us use the house and the bed occasionally. The bed is definitely the dog's, he just lets us use it at night. And it is a battle for space!! Thanks Glenn for the reality check.
Bingo

[Icehouse]

Love it!!!

[Driftwoodgal]

Alex, our cat, says you have it just right!! We try to keep him happy. If he isn't happy he lets us know and we get more noise than we want. Sure alot easier than having a kid at home. We will keep the cat and are glad the kids are raised.

Colleen

[jjackflash]

Well said Glenn!
Iam at 100 % agreement!
Jack

[Waynem]

Miya (68# Husky/Chow +) said, "You almost have it right." I think she means that she doesn't agree that the bed, couch, chair, food are not hers. Also, she said that anytime you put on a pair of shoes it means that we are taking her for a walk.

She's preparing a list, but I'll probably just ignore her.

Great post - LMAO

[Dustytuu]

This is so right! We can relate to the fur kids sleeping sideways in the bed! Also the stairway race tracks.
We can relate to all of it!
Great post!

[Wayne and Carolyn Mathews]

You got it so right! Funny--tonight I was actually thinking that we might let the Aussies and Boss Cat use our Monty as their own home during the winter instead of having to stay in the mudroom (warm, dry, nice beds, but still . . . the furry kids love this rig).
Wayne & Carolyn