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My resume....
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice Factory,
but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I
just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't
suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that
was too exhausting.
5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a
little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I
sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I
wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I
didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I
just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered
that I couldn't live on my net income.
11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool
Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they
said I wasn't fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I
finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no
future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to
quit because it was always the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT
FOR THE JOB!
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