The Weevils
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
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Dog in a Bar
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.
He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
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Monk at the Dentist
Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication
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The Friar Florists
The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
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The Jedi Knight traded in his light saber for a light dagger. He had gone over to the dirk side.
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