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Old 09-09-2009, 02:30 AM   #1
Rondo
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Electronics for Seniors

Things are spiraling out of control. I think I have become lost in a world of electronic madness.

One of my sons informed me this week that my cell phone has become obsolete and I must head down to the Cell Phone store and get a phone that is contemporary with the time.I pointed out that the fancy Razor/Slim line phone with camera built in that he made me trade my perfectly good flip-top Motorola cell phone for two years ago still works perfectly fine. Well, except for the camera thing. Never could figure that out. Even the few times I actually did take pictures I couldn't figure what to do with them and gave up. That is except when I would push the wrong button and take a video of the ceiling or my feet.

Seems the issue is that I am unable to text with the tiny little 3 character buttons. "Hi, son," would come out looking like, "Gh Qmo" My grandkids have even spoken to my wife about Poppa's crazy text messages. Give me a break. Whatever happened to actually talking on a phone? Isn't that what they were invented for? They want me to get one of those phones that you can turn upside down and sideways and has a typewriter keyboard with keys about one-eighth the size of my pinky finger. One of my four sons is a realtor whose real occupation is fly fishing. "Way to go, son." Or in my text language, "Xbz um Io, rmo." We were floating the Yakima River in his guide quality drift boat south of Ellensburg , Washington . We were miles from anything remotely resembling civilization. Rock canyon walls were on either side of us. Bear with me as I try to explain this strange thing. His "Blackberry" rang. It was blue and I asked him why it wasn't called a blueberry. He shook his head with that "dealing with an elder" despair look I get a lot these days. It was another realtor who called to say that the sellers he represented had agreed to my son's client's changes and he had the signed documents in hand. My son told him to FAX the papers to his office and he would get them signed and Faxed back, to close the deal that morning. A minute later the phone rang and he hit a few buttons and looked over the FAX, now on theYakima River with us.

He then called his clients and told them he was Faxing the papers to them to sign and asked them to FAX them back to his office.

While he was waiting, he hooked into a fat rainbow and was just releasing this 22 inch beauty as his phone rang again with the signed FAX from his clients. He called the other realtor and told him he was sending the signed papers back by FAX. The deal was closed. He smiled and just said, "You are a little behind the times, Dad." I guess I am.

I thought about the sixty million dollar a year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space. That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Nobles talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and got a little loud. I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phones ring. The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth re-usable bags to avoid looking confused but never remember to take them in with me. Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
 
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:00 AM   #2
Mudchief
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I would say you are a little behind the times. GPS, who needs that. That new phone will do that and then some. It got me to the Great Lakes Rally and back. It found me a dealer when I was broke down in Elkhart and showed me how to get there. The only problem is when you get one your wife is going to want one also so she can play all of those games while you are driving down the road.
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:30 AM   #3
Rondo
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Dennis-Always been known as a "Day late and a dollar short" so it's now surprise to me!! Don't see you names listed on the Fall Rally sheet, are you guys heading back to Goshen in a week or so? I think they still have space for you two! We'll miss your smiling faces if not! We're heading out on the 19th so if you want to join us give us a hollar! Heading east on I- 80 again!
Whoops, I guess I just stoled my own thread! Oh well, can't have everything perfect!!
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Old 09-09-2009, 11:17 AM   #4
TheCoachPotatoes
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How about a little skit for us at the Rally. We could use a good stand-up comedian. Good material!!!
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Old 09-09-2009, 03:15 PM   #5
Rondo
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I can't take credit for this but I thought my Brother and Sister MOCrs would enjoy it! Stamd-up comedy is not one of my better skills but I will be there with my bells on and many hats!! See you in 12 day ya'll!!!
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Old 09-09-2009, 03:31 PM   #6
TheCoachPotatoes
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Well, it's still very funny. Thanks for sharing! See you at the Rally.
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Old 09-10-2009, 03:14 PM   #7
tbhd
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Ron, that was great. Can't do, won't do that testing stuff either. Got the GPS thing though and saved us many times. Then there are the other times we won't talk about. That's when Dennis says to throw that thing out the window.

See ya in Goshen.

Sharon
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Old 09-11-2009, 07:05 AM   #8
deerrahn
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My GPS was one of the first and fairly simple. I was able to figure it out. The cell phone we have had for 6 years. I leave that up to my DW. She likes to talk on it, or at least that is what I tell her. It is simple, no pictures, no texing. It is two years over the age limit and out of contract, and I get an ever ending supply of advertisment from Verizon. At least it is simple to use. Just push a couple of contacts and I can make a call. The rest of what is in the phone is a waste.

Now with the computer, Windows XL is good. Vista needs to go in the garbage can. You know, they push this on the public and then say " For $75.00 an hour they can teach you in 3-4 lessons. Are retiree's mad of money. Guess I will just stumble through it, and maybe I will find someone at the MOC that can smooth the way for me.

Until then, "Have a Good Day" and hope to see you at the Rally in 10 days.
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Old 09-12-2009, 05:59 AM   #9
Waynem
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Old 09-13-2009, 05:22 PM   #10
simonsrf
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Ron,

Very funny, very true; thanks for sharing.
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