Ah! Texas!

[Waynem]

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Note From Texas: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the hot, humid Southwest, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
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Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry. Please keep it cool in mid-July.
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Bless the walls where termites dine, While ants and roaches march in time.
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Bless our yard where spiders pass Fire ant castles in the grass.
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Bless the garage, a home to please Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
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Bless the love bugs, two by two, the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
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Millions of creatures that fly or crawl, in TEXAS, Lord, you've put them all!!
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But this is home, and here we'll stay, So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
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YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .
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The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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Ah, what a place to call home. And the Winters are nice.
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God Bless The State of TEXAS !
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[BB_TX]

As a native Texan who has never lived any where else, I can identify with all those.

[Wayne and Carolyn Mathews]

And, as a native Texan who's lived in Colorado, Alaska, Arizona, and now Montana (but can't want to get home--Austin, Texas), I can also identify with all of those things.

On the bright side: Montana doesn't have roaches. On the dark side: Montana has a state income tax and more rattlesnakes than cattle(or so it seems at times).
Wayne and Carolyn

[Bob Pasternak]

Nicely put. I lived in Lakeland, FL for 9 years then moved to Arlington, TX for 2 years. Hotter but dryer in Arlington. And anybody that thinks FL is hot and humid in summer should spend a summer in Houston. I went to Houston frequently in my work and we had friends in Conroe.