[Son of JVP]

I was on Highway 20 out of Montreal driving toward Quebec City and I decided to stop at a rest stop to use the men's room.

The first stall was occupied so I went in the second. I am barely sitting down when I hear a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation or fraternize in men's rooms at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me, so I answer, somewhat embarrassedly: "Not bad!"

And the other guy says: "So what's up with you?"

What a question? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre, so I say: "I'm like you, just traveling east!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously..."LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye!"

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A man was driving through Montana one spring evening. The road was deserted and he had not seen a soul for what seemed like hours. Suddenly his car started to cough and sputter, and the engine slowly died away leaving him sitting by the road in total silence. He popped the hood and went to see if there was anything that he could do to get it going again. Unfortunately, he had a limited knowledge of cars, so all he could do was look at the engine, feeling despondent.

As he peered by the gradually fading light of his flashlight, he cursed that he had not put in new batteries, like he had promised. Suddenly, through the inky shadows, came a deep voice, "It's your fuel pump." The man jumped up quickly striking his head on the underside of the hood. "Who said that?" he demanded.

There were two horses standing in the field alongside the road and the man was amazed when the nearest of the two horses repeated, "It's your fuel pump. Tap it with your flashlight, and try it again."

Confused, the man tapped the fuel pump with his flashlight, turned the key and sure enough, the engine roared into life. He muttered a short thanks to the horse and screeched away.

When he reached the next town, he ran into the local bar. "Large whiskey, please!" he said.

A rancher sitting at the bar looked at the man's ashen face and asked, "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"It's unbelievable," the man said and recalled the whole tale to the rancher. The rancher took a sip of his beer and looked thoughtful. "A horse, you say. Was it by any chance a white horse?"
The man replied to the affirmative. "Yes it was! Am I crazy?"
"No, you ain't crazy. In fact, you're lucky," said the rancher, "Because the brown horse don't know nothin' about cars.

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In a 4th grade class full of kids, the teacher said to the students, "If any of you kids can answer this question, you can have Monday off from school. You need to identify the person who said this quote and tell me what year he said it. Whoever gets it right gets Monday off." So, the teacher said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." All of the children sat there without saying a word until little Takashi the Japanese exchange student in the back row raised his hand and said, "Teacher, that was President John F. Kennedy in 1961". The teacher said, "Very good Takashi. I will see you on Tuesday." Then the teacher turned to the rest of the class and said, "Aren't you ashamed of yourselves? Takashi has only been in this country two years, and he knew who said that famous quote. The teacher then turned his back to the class and heard someone say "F--- the Japanese!" He turned around and said, "Who said that!?"
Little Johnny raised his hand from the front row and said, "Lee Iacocca, 1980. See you on Tuesday."