[Glenn and Lorraine]

Only in America...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
...are there handicap-parking places in front of a skating rink.
...do drugstore make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can get their cigarettes at the front.
...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet cola.
...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
...do we buy hotdogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.