Not sure I understand re equalizing tanks. If you are saying you opened the gray tank for the shower and nothing dumped, I would first consider that the valve is not opening, or opening part way and blocked. And despite your unit being new, may be getting false readings on the gauges.
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Mike and Lorraine
2002 3655 FL, 2005 3650RK
2010 3665RE, 2015 3910FB
F350 crew cab dually 6.7
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