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Old 03-05-2009, 08:01 AM   #1
Montana Master
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kalispell
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M.O.C. #3113
Paul Update

Well, I have some bad news. Last Friday Paul had his Pet Scan done. Yesterday we went to the Dr's to get the results and it isn't good. Apparently, everything Paul went through with the chemo and radiation was all for nothing. It didn't do anything to the tumor and now it has spread to his lungs and more lymph nodes. I had a feeling that the tumor was still the same size, but when the Dr. showed me the pictures my heart just sank. The Dr. said that we could try a more aggressive treatment but nothing would change. I told him that enough was enough. He agreed. He said it would only buy him a little time, and at that not much more. He said that Paul maybe might have 6 months left. He said that is a stretch because of the speed that it is spreading. He said I need to get in touch with Hospice so that they can be informed and when the time comes they will step in. This is the hardest thing to deal with. Going into the Dr's. office I was fine, but when the Dr. said those words I fell apart. I asked Paul if he understood what the Dr. was saying and he said yes, but I don't think he understood exactly what was going on.
I called Paul's son last night and he agreed with my decision to not do anything else except make him comfortable. I did ask the Dr. if Paul could have his beer and he wrote an order for that. He told me that we could pour it right into Paul's feeding tube and I told him that isn't what is enjoyable about beer, it is the taste and Paul agreed...So when I got him back to the Vets Home they had a beer waiting for him. I am so glad we moved up here because if we were still in CA. I am afraid Paul would have fallen through the cracks. He has had the best of the best in the Vets Home as much as he could have had anyway. I don't know what each day will bring but I do know that Paul will be living his last days just like he told me to do for him if this ever happened. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I will be giving him the best of me in return. My prayers now will be for him to live the rest of his life as pain free as possible. I will remain to keep you all posted on things as they happen. But I do want to tell you all Thank You for keeping him in your prayers. Kathi
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:47 AM   #2
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M.O.C. #7882
Kathi and Paul,
My heart goes out to you in this stressful time. So sorry to hear the treatment didn`t work. Take one day at a time and enjoy them as much as possible. Please do keep us posted. We all will need to face this sooner or later. GBY
Judi and Drew Nye
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:53 AM   #3
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Kathi - You and Paul remain in our thoughts and prayers, Paul for comfort and you for strength. May God Bless you both.
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:54 AM   #4
Wayne and Carolyn Mathews
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Location: Dillon KOA
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M.O.C. #7445
Kathi and Paul, I know that hundreds of MOC prayers are going out for you and have been for some time now. You and Paul have made one of the toughest decisions now, the one when you judge whether or not you've reached the "enough is enough" point. I personally believe there's grace in living out one's days peacefully, uninterrupted by the trips to and from hospitals, clinics, chemo and/or radiation facilities, or whatever else is involved in continued last-resort treatment. My mother made the same decision, to spend her remaining days in peace, visiting with her friends and family, rather than being interrupting her days with daily and uncomfortable rides to and from the hospital where she lived. She was so grateful to her doctors for giving her the best, most pain-free quality of life possible after she made that decision.

Kathi, your tribute to Paul brought me to tears. It's clear that he made you and your life special and that you have done the same for him. Thank you for sharing his goodness with those of us who don't know either of you. God bless you both.

Wayne and Carolyn
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Old 03-05-2009, 10:18 AM   #5
Mrs. CountryGuy
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Continuing prayers for two very special people. God Bless.
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Old 03-05-2009, 10:43 AM   #6
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I think you have made the right choice. Enjoy the time you have left and my prayer is to make it a very memorable time. I also pray for remission also..My heart goes out to you and your family....
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:51 AM   #7
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Our thoughts and prayers are with You and Paul. May God grant you both peace in these trying times.

Dave and Leslie
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:47 PM   #8
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We will keep you and Paul in our thoughts and prayers.
Dennis & Linda Ward
Paola, Kansas
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Old 03-05-2009, 03:43 PM   #9
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This is such sad news. Do yourself a favor and contact Hsopice right away. They cn do so much for you, support for you and Paul and the rest of the family if they get the chance. So many people wait until the last week or so and then they don't get the real benefit Hospice can give them. I just lost a very close friend to Cancer and unfortunately she would not agree for hospice to come in until the last week--she could have been so much more comfortable if only she would have had them earlier. Our prayers are with you at this time and we pray that Paul can be kept comfortable and that Our Heavenly Father will give you strength to go through this time in your life. This will be a very difficult time for you but don't ever feel guilty about your decision--it is the best you can do in the circumstances. I think I can say for our MOC family "We all love you and care about you."
2014 Big Sky 3150RL
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Old 03-05-2009, 04:24 PM   #10
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We will continue to pray for you both. God bless you.
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Old 03-06-2009, 02:09 AM   #11
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Kathi, take comfort in knowing that you have made the right decision, the best one for Paul as you are now his advocate. We will continue our prayers for you and Paul.
Darwin & Maureen DeBackere
Minnedosa, Manitoba, Canada
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Old 03-06-2009, 02:59 AM   #12
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I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I lost my mom in Sept 2008 from the same horrible disease. I agree with Paul and Jan, contact Hospice right away. They were wonderful with my mom and the family. My prayers are with you and God will give you both the strength that you will need. God Bless
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Old 03-06-2009, 03:36 AM   #13
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You and Paul are in our prayers. There is nothing worse than knowing that you are in a world of hurt. When my first wife died, it was sudden -- she was only 33 and had not been sick or diseased. The suddenness was hard to understand but was easier to get over. I don't know what I'd done if I were in your shoes and had to know that my spouse was so ill.

Please understand that there is ONE you can turn to in this time of need. Our words are just that: mere words. But HIS words are much more comforting.

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Old 03-06-2009, 03:45 AM   #14
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Our prayers are with you. May God grant you peace and strength to get through this difficult time. Hospice is a blessing, so don't wait to call on them.
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Old 03-06-2009, 04:19 AM   #15
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Our prayers are with you both. Enjoy the time you have left with him and know that the memories you have made together will comfort you all the days of your life! Stay as strong as you can, but allow yourself the time you need to have a melt down - and above all, let your family and friends comfort you during those times!
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:04 PM   #16
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I read your post, then read it to my most precious friend in the world - my wife. I couldn't finish due to the emotional empathy; we both have experienced losses. We are both so sorry for what has been thrown at the two of you. Please know that we are thinking of you both.
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Old 03-06-2009, 03:31 PM   #17
Okie Guy
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You and Paul are still in my prayers each night. It is so hard to go through what you are going through but you are doing a great job. You are walking with him through this which is one of the greatest gifts we can give a loved one at the end of life. You are such a strong woman. God Bless you and guide you on this journey.
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Old 03-06-2009, 06:09 PM   #18
Trailer Trash 2
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Realy sorry to hear the results from you about Paul, We have you your husband in our prayers.

Don and Georgia
Pulling a 2004, 2980 RL an oldie but goodie.
Tow vehicle is a 2009 RED RAM 3500 DRW.
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Old 03-08-2009, 03:07 AM   #19
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Our prayers are with the both of you. Words are inadaquate, just know that you have support.
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Old 03-09-2009, 09:41 AM   #20
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Kathi and Paul, our hearts go out to you along with our prayers. One thing that might be hard to focus on right now, but still it comes through loud and clear in your posts, is the love and care you have given Paul through this difficult ordeal. Nobody could ask for more in their final days. In that respect, Paul is a very lucky guy.
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