Bad News # 2

[randye]

This is not something to air with the public, but I feel you all have had many life experiances. So I have a problem. Just recently I posted about my older brother passing away 8/25/08. My mother is not strong enough to deal with the arrangements, so I offered to do it. The morterary asked if my brother had any money. He was on SSI and had been for some years. I asked why, they said they would summit to the state of Calif. to see if they would pay the $3000.00 it would cost to depose of the body. I asked what if they won't. She told me they would work with me on a payment plan. My question is. Is the family responsible to pay for a member to be buried or otherwise. My mother and step father don't have the means and I will if I have to. He was 57 years old never married and no kids. Any insights on law in this matter would be appreciated. Thanks for all the sediments on his passing, I needed that. randye.

[mtheo]

I don't think you have to take on the responiblity, but that being said I paid for both my mother and dad as I was the only one in my family that could afford to, but it cost a lot less than $3,000.00. My mom did want cremationand my dad never stated any prference that that is what it was. My mom was in the seventy's and only cost $400.00. My dad was a six years ago and I think it was only about $1,200.00 for the basic arrangements.

Good Luck

[HamRad]

Randye,

You have no legal obligations as I understand CA law. Your only obligation is a moral one. I think you simply have to decide what is right for you. Only you can make that decision.

Sorry you are having to deal with this situation but sometimes that is the way it goes.

Good luck.

HamRad

[CmdrDewey]

Neither you nor your mother have any no obligation unless one of you makes the arrangements and signs the contract. At least around here, cremation is about 1/3 of that price.

Best wishes

[Exnavydiver]

If cremation is an option then contact the local chapter of the Cremation Society. Very reasonable as opposed to normal burial. Both my parents had expressed this method and the Society was very helpful. This was in Fl. and Illinois but they helped with the memorial service also... Dave

[Okie Guy]

I am so sorry for your loss. In Oklahoma the state will pay for basic burial. I am not sure about cremations here. If your brother had a case worker check with that case worker. If he did not then I would call the states cremation society, state funeral directors association or state embalmers association. They should be able to lead you in the right direction.
Good Luck and prayers headed your way.
Phil

[TLightning]

IMHO, you need to talk to a person in your state with knowledge of such matters, maybe the attorney who handled the will (if there was one). All you will get from us is opinions...and they are worth what you are paying for them.

[dersequim]

I was told by a Patient's Advocate, in a CA Hospital, that if a family member dies while in the hospital in CA the state pays for the hosp, BUT the Hospitals STILL BILL the families, I was appalled by that. So was She and was going to blow the whistle where she worked.

[trukdoc]

I went through that in California several years ago. If you make no claim to the estate you are not financially responsible for him. However if there are any assets cars, houses, accounts ect that you will want to claim you will have to pay for the buriel.
And back to the moral issue. Let you consience be your guide.

[sreigle]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. If he was a veteran, check with VA to see if they can help. If he had credit cards, check to see if any have a death benefit. Likewise with his employer or last employer if retired. You might also check with Medicaid. I don't think they provide any help. There may also be some local charities that will help. The funeral home director should know of those. Or check the yellow pages.

Good luck. I have no idea your legal responsibility if any but surely somewhere there is help available.

[randye]

Thanks everyone for your help. My brother had some cash hit away and my sister was their when the lawyer went over his rental. thier was enough to take care of the cremation and to fly him over the Ca. coast and spread the ashes. I did reshearch and found the cremation should only be $1200.00. I called the funeral home on it and they agreed to hold the cost to $1234.00 plus 12.00 for each death certificate. Which my sister is close enouh to go and close his checking account and thier is a key for safety deposit box. She will need a death cert. to open the box. all the paper arrangements are over, now the rest is about two weeks away. randye