CANADA ????????????????? - Montana Owners Club

Amps · 04-20-2007, 04:07 AM

Are we really in 2007.
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow? (England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad
tracks? (Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy )
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England )
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the
hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come
naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany )
A: No, we don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you sell it in Canada ? (USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round? (Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
illegal
.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget
its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent. They roam the
city streets eating the brains of anyone walking close to them.
Spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking will scare them
off.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

rogersuemegan · 04-20-2007, 04:55 AM

LOL as we live only 3hrs from our neighbor to the north, we go to Canada 5 or 6 times a year. We have a cottage on a big lake there and love it. I might add that if anyone ask you anything in Canada you can't go wrong with the answer ----AYE?

msmoonsatx · 04-20-2007, 06:48 AM

I appreciate this thread. I grew up about one hundred fifty miles from the US - Canada border and my grandfather was French Canadian.

BirdingRVer · 04-20-2007, 07:23 AM

I live in California and they haven't taught geography in our schools for years. I doubt that most Californians could find Canada on a map. I would guaranty that 9 out of 10 Californians couldn't tell you a single fact about Canada. Don't feel slighted however as most Californians couldn't find Florida on a map either.

So far we have visited 7 provinces and counting.

adelmoll · 04-20-2007, 09:34 AM

Oh this is so funny. Obviously none of these questions were asked by a full time RV'er. I lived less than 200 miles south of the border for over 50 years and have visited almost all of the Canadian Province's. Our map does not show it because this one started with our Montana. The few that we have not been to yet is in our plans for next summer. P.E I. and Nova Scotia are the ones that we haven't been to yet but we plan on going all the way back to Newfoundland . I can't tell you our favorite because we loved them all but BC is right up at the top of our list.

Helen

HamRad · 04-20-2007, 10:16 AM

Helen,
You'd better hurry if you're going to visit P.E.I.. It apparently is falling into the ocean!

Amps,
I loved the Canada thing. It is hilarious!

Dennis

hookman · 04-20-2007, 03:32 PM

That was in northern Newfoundland where the buildings where slipping into the ocean

Bill and Ann · 04-21-2007, 03:08 AM

I guess this is why it has been said that if a MOC rally was held in Canada, no-one would want to go.

richfaa · 04-21-2007, 03:28 AM

We are just about 12 miles or so from the Canada border ..unfortunately it is in the middle of Lake Erie and we have to go to Detroit or Buffalo to get there.We have been up north many, many times , attended a FCRV rally there July of 06.Worked with Toronto Air Traffic Control on a day to day basis. Our normal greeting when talking to one another was "Hi neighbor"

Wrenchtraveller · 04-21-2007, 01:27 PM

We love travel in the good old USA and find the American people wonderful and I am so glad that we border the USA but we have long been amused how little of Canada that so many Americans know. I wish I had a dollar for every time an American has asked me if I know a Canadian they know. There are 32 million of us so the chance is slim.
My kids always had a ball telling California kids about the igloo we live in and other tall tales about the Cold North Country when in fact my kids have never experienced real cold weather in their entire lives because they were born on Vancouver Island and have never been to the cold regions in the winter months. I was raised in Manitoba and my wife in Saskatchewan and we know the cold,

adelmoll · 04-21-2007, 03:36 PM

Don, things are getting a lot closer but I can remember being in England and telling people that I was from Minnesota and they asked me if that was in New York or California. For many less fortunate than we are, they have no idea. I feel so blessed that I have been able to travel far and wide although I must admit that on a trip to Singapore that took 21 hours and no smoking when I was still a smoker was not my favorite. The trip only. Not the country.

Helen

Ozzie · 05-22-2007, 05:04 PM

No wonder we're so tired!

The population of Canada is 30 million.

11 million are retired, that leaves 19 million to do the work.

There are 5.5 million in school, which leaves 13.5 million to do the work.

Of this there are 3 million employed by the federal government, leaving 10.5 million to do the work.

1 million are in the armed forces, preoccupied with killing

Terrorists, which leaves 9.5 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 7 million people who work for Provincial and city Governments, and that leaves 2.5 million to do the work.

At any given time, there are 476,000 people in hospitals, leaving 2,024,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons and 812,000 on Employment Insurance and Welfare.

That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.

And there you are sitting on your but, at your computer, reading jokes.

Wrenchtraveller · 05-23-2007, 05:05 PM

Good one Bruce!! LOL

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