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Old 12-14-2007, 05:10 PM   #1
Exnavydiver
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The South

Kentucky:

The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings." You gotta love those Kentucky women.
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Arkansas :

A group of Arkansas friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked." Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" t hey inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
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Louisiana:

A senior at LSU was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisianabecause everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

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Mississippi:

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
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Tennessee:

A Tennessee State tro oper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


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And My Favorite:

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the
scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

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You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North.
 
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Old 12-16-2007, 06:22 AM   #2
mail2us
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These really are good but are there any from folks living up North?
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Old 12-16-2007, 11:15 AM   #3
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mail2us, the northerners we covered in the mid-west post... Dave
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Old 12-16-2007, 12:39 PM   #4
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Billy Bob and Rufus got laid off at a textile plant. They applied for unemployment and Billy Bob went first. The clerk asked Billy Bob what he did. "I sew the elastic onto womens underwear." That is concidered unskilled labor and you will get $300 a week.
Rufus went in and was asked the same question. He said he was a diesel fitter. She said that is skilled labor and you will receive $650 a week.

When they got outside they compared what they would get. When Billy Bob heard what Rufus was getting he ran back inside.

Billy Bob complained to the clerk and she told him Rufus's job was skilled labor. "What skilled labor. I sew the undies and hand them to Rufus. He puts them over his head and say's diesel fitter"!
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Old 12-16-2007, 12:43 PM   #5
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Dave, tks, maybe some more jokes like ...one about the guy from Florida...heheh! Didn't see the others you mentioned. Dennis
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