Oh-Oh! Do NOT consider this medical advice...

[Art-n-Marge]

Last time I went to my doctor he told me he needed a blood sample, urine sample and a stool sample.

I was not happy about all this potential stuff I had to do and looked over at my wife and said, "Do I really have to do all that".

She said, "You could save a lot of time, if you just give him your underwear".

LOL...bah-dump-bump...

Okay, here's one more:

A son regretfully checks in his invalid father and explains how sorry he is but with the recent downturns this would be best for all at this highly rated and recommended facility. He promises to visit every day at lunch and as soon as he gets off work.

Since it was a beautiful day, the father is placed outside to enjoy the rays and hopefully to make new friends. As he is seated in his chair he leans to the right and immediately an ever-attentive nurse runs over, props him back up and inserts a pillow so he doesn't fall over. Then as he starts to lean to the left, again the nurse quickly props him up and installs a pillow on the other side. So he starts to lean forward and the nurse catches him, leans him back then buckles a restraint so he won't fall out.

As promised the son comes by for lunch and asks his father, "So how do you like it here?"

"I absolutely hate it", is the reply.

Quite shocked the son says in disbelief, "but Dad, I checked out this facility and it has the absolute highest ratings! I also have very close friends who had their parents put in here and they highly recommended it too. All of them I talked to, had nothing but praise and positive things to say. Please tell me what do you not like about this place so I can check it out?"

His father declares "They don't let me fart!"
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okay, enough said...