Matchmaker?? What would yu do???

[Wiarton William]

This is off topic for the forum, but, we are all roughly the same age here so it applies...well sort of...I have a good friend that lost his wife to cancer 13 months ago..he still lives in their home and is doing well.. we have been involved in the background making sure he eats well and is getting along ok....through our circle of friends and our lodge he has met a widow of a departed member(approx 16 months ago) and they have hit it off.. she is a very nice lady and is a great person...he speaks of her often...both have kids and g/kids...both have their own homes and finances......neither one has told their kids about the "other " person....they seem to be afraid to do it for some reason..dont know why really, they are adults..(I would expect that they are afraid of the reactions they might face).. We do not want to be matchmakers but are deeply concerned for our friends future if he stays alone..I know he doesnt like being alone and I can see that he is tipping the bottle a lot more than he used to..I wonder if I should break the ice(in a vwery dipolomatic way) to his kids about the woman or just stay out of it...??????? maybe if ann landers was still around.....

[Delaine and Lindy]

I wouldn't get involved in telling his kids. But I would advise him to tell all the kids. He or she may think its hidden, but its hard to keep things like this a secret. No person should have to live alone. I know from experience when HE closes a door, HE will open another door. Good Luck to him and her. GBY.....

[Waynem]

Stay involved with the friend, but don't get involved with decisions about the kids. You may loose a friend if you do. Good friendship counseling to get him to tell his kids.

He probably has a guilty conscience that he would be construed to be "cheating" on his departed wife. It's been a year and the grieving process needs to stop and the remembering of all the times together start.

Be a friend. And if he asks you to not mention t anymore, just do the things friends do and don't mention it anymore.

[Glenn and Lorraine]

I have to agree with both of the above replies. Forget telling the kids and help your friend to understand that it is his life to live.

[sgtpp214]

Agree wholeheartedly with the above. Be a good friend and express your concerns to him about the bottle problem you perceive, but don't be surprised if he goes on the defensive and denies there is a problem. Talk to him about his possible interest in this woman and if there is a real possiblility of a match up encourage him to move forward and consul that he is not 'cheating' and life moves on and he may find that his kids will be supportive.

[Wiarton William]

Well I have got some good advice.. who needs Ann Landers anyway...He has 3 boys and one girl.. they are all coming up for the long weekend..it could be that he plans to talk it out so to speak..I am sure that he will get the blessings of all...being alone isnt fun and they know that I am sure..thx folks

[Okie Guy]

If one of my parents passed away I would encourage the other to seek companionship. Everyone who wants to be involved with someone should be. If the kids are not understanding enough for their parents need to move forward then they are emotionally greedy. I can understand being protective of the widow/widower but being protective and being emotionally greedy are two different things.
Good Luck.