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Old 11-29-2008, 09:42 AM   #1
Kathi
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Join Date: Feb 2005
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Update on Paul

This is a really hard email to write but I have to do it. On Paul's last Dr's. appt. the Dr. said that Paul was not a candidate for surgery because his cancer had advanced into his lymph nodes meaning that Paul is now in stage 4. He said the only thing that he could do for Paul now was to advise radiation and chemotherapy to try and shrink the tumor and make Paul more comfortable. My heart just sank when I heard that. I just started crying. I don't think Paul really understands what is happening. At this point the tumor has grown so much that it has completely blocked off his esophagus so that even water is a problem to get down. His feeding tube does give him relief because it allows the nurses to put his food and his meds straight into the tube and then it goes right to his stomach. The Dr. said this will help when it comes to radiation because the radiation makes the throat just like burnt hamburger. If the food doesn't have to go down his throat it won't create any pain in the throat. I just got back from seeing him and he isn't doing well at all. On Wed. of last week we saw the Radiadologist and they took all the measurements and pictures so that on the 8th of Dec. he can start that part of the treatment. He was really giving the tech fits because he wouldn't hold still so she came out and got me and I had to calm him down and stay right there so he wouldn't move. I told them that I am going to advise the Dr. to order him happy meds. about an hour before he goes for his treatments that way he won't be so adgitated. He has become very difficult to handle lately. Poor guy, I wonder why?!!!!!
I brought him home for Thanksgiving and he wanted everything on the table but was unable to eat any of it. I still filled his plate and gave him a glass of very expensive wine I had bought for him. It was his favorite and I didn't care if he drank it or not. I just wanted him to feel included in everything. I must say that the man hasn't lost his lucky streak. We played a game with lottery tickets and he got the most tickets and then when we scratched them off he won most of the money. He got tired very early and wanted to sleep so I put him in our bed. He stayed there for awhile but then got jumpy and wanted to go back to the Vets Home. So I took him back. When they weighted him the other day he only weighed
123 lbs. I don't know how much longer he has but I plan on making every minute count. I don't know how anyone gets through this. I have been taking it a day at a time but even that isn't helping any longer. Well, I will email periodic reports on what is going on but I can't say when. Thanks to everyone for your prayers. I know Paul really needs them. Again, God Bless all of you. Kathi
 
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Old 11-29-2008, 09:54 AM   #2
boylanag
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Kathi, you and Paul are still in our thoughts and prayers. You have a lot of people praying for you both so you will never be alone.
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Old 11-29-2008, 10:00 AM   #3
Mrs. CountryGuy
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Consider yourself sufficiently internet hugged.

You are a good person, and a better wife.

God be with you both.
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Old 11-29-2008, 10:50 AM   #4
blamb
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I am going to pray for you. You are a wonderful wife. God smiles on you, not because he likes to see you suffer but because he is proud. And His heart hurts for Paul, but he has a bigger plan....
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Old 11-29-2008, 12:46 PM   #5
Wayne and Carolyn Mathews
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Kathi, our prayers are with you and Paul during this journey you two are taking together. Paul is blessed to have you there, and you are blessed for being his #1 cheerleader and keeping things as normal as possible under the circumstances.

Taking things a day at a time is probably keeping you sane, but remember that you're not alone, and many, many friends and relatives are there with you two in spirit, if not in the flesh. Enjoy the moments you can enjoy with each other, be there for each other in the worst times, and know that Paul appreciates everything you are doing for him. You are so right to make every minute count. I love that you filled his plate and gave him the expensive wine. Whether or not he ate or drank anything is immaterial; the point is that he wanted things on the table, and you wanted to give him the most normal meal you could.

Bless you both. You are NOT alone.

Carolyn & Wayne
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Old 11-29-2008, 12:53 PM   #6
Wayne and Carolyn Mathews
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Paul & Kathi, I just realized that you are practically neighbors of ours. We live about 30 miles south of Dillon, on the west shore of Clark Canyon Reservoir. And you are coon hound people! My son (Scott Allison) breeds and trains Hangin' Tree cowdogs in his kennel operation just down the road from us on his ranch. However, we are Texas-born natives, and Scott just couldn't give up some of his Texas roots, such as coon hunting, so he recently bought 2 coon hound pups of his own. They are great dogs (if you don't mind the night-long serenading they produce!).

Well, I wish we were closer to you. I don't know what we could do that you aren't already doing, but at least we could physically check on you guys every day and give you our physical and moral support.

Again, bless you both. Our prayers will continue.

Wayne & Carolyn
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Old 11-29-2008, 01:49 PM   #7
Driftwoodgal
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Kathi,

Paul is blessed to have such a strong woman by his side. As others have posted thoughts and prayers are being said for both of you. Take care of yourself too. Sometimes the care giver forgets to do that. You are an amazing woman, I applaud your strength. You both will be in our prayers.

Colleen
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Old 11-29-2008, 03:07 PM   #8
stiles watson
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I got no platitudes. I empathize with your fears, pains, and sense of helplessness. I don't know what to say. We hope and pray for the best. It sounds like you want to help Paul squeeze out every drop of the life he is given. Good for you, Kathi.
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Old 11-29-2008, 05:02 PM   #9
fulltimedreamer
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May God be with you both! You are in our prayers for an extra measure of God's grace for this time. I pray that you will sense God's love in an extraordinary way.
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Old 11-29-2008, 08:13 PM   #10
HamRad
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Kathi please enjoy the time remaining and pray that is will be as pain free for Paul as possible.

Dennis and Mary Kay
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Old 12-01-2008, 02:06 AM   #11
rving2us
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Bless you Kathi, we send happy thoughts your way and we are sure Paul understands the love and care you show. He is a warrior. Jon and Mary
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Old 12-01-2008, 02:31 AM   #12
CanDo
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Kathi and Paul, our thoughts and prayers are with you both. God bless you.
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Old 12-01-2008, 03:48 AM   #13
Okie Guy
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Kathi,

God Bless You! You have one of the hardest jobs at task right now. It is so frustrating, angering and completely rewarding at the same time when caring for a loved one who is at that stage in life. Know there are others going through this with their families and we pray for families going through the same thing every night. If you ever need someone to talk to when you think no one understands how hard it is just let me know. As hards as it is just we are here for you.
Phil
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Old 12-03-2008, 07:16 AM   #14
eeoski
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Kathi and Paul,

Heartfelt prayers are coming your way.

Robin and Doug
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Old 12-07-2008, 09:43 AM   #15
GOFNUTS
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Kathi, please know that you and Paul are in our thoughts and prayers. Even though we have never met, we feel like we got to know you though our friends you met while traveling. Life's jouney is not always the way we planned, but being a strong caregiver through the rough times really does help those we love face their pain and fears. You are doing the best for you both by being there for him. Please take care of yourself and God bless you both.
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Old 12-29-2008, 04:49 AM   #16
sreigle
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Kathi, I'm just now seeing this thread. I am so sorry to hear Paul is doing so poorly. As difficult as it is to read something like this, it cannot be anywhere near so difficult as it was for you to write it. Please know we have you and your family in both our prayers and our thoughts.
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Old 01-03-2009, 05:43 AM   #17
Dustytuu
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I just saw your post today. My prayers are for both of you. God bless.
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:57 PM   #18
Trailer Trash 2
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Were so sorry to hear about Paul. all is not lost my Ex was in level 4 with brest cancer and had spred to most of her lymph nodes, But she was able to eat not as Paul but after all her Kemo therapy and prayers from family and friends, she is doing much better and is now in the healing process and getting better. we wish the same for Paul.

Don and Georgia
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