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Old 06-25-2007, 07:30 PM   #1
Trailer Trash 2
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How to drive in LA , Califoria

For all your that are not farmiluar with LA


1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L A.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the
105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything
less is considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L A has its own version
of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first
at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in
Malibu, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed
out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get
you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L A and
Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment
pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit
more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and
other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Map quest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say
they are or go where they say they do, and all the freeway off and on
ramps are moved each night.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder
immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you
are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon
for Tuesday appointments; by noon Thursday for Friday; and right after
church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
 
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Old 06-26-2007, 02:35 AM   #2
mustang92
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Was in LA couple of months ago. A couple of more things:
1. Watch out for motorcycles. They tend to drive on the yellow lines separating lanes of traffic. So while you and your rig is stuck in traffic, motorcycles are passing you at about 80mph. They apparently have a death wish.
2. If you are in the right lane, anticipating an upcoming exit, good luck is all I can say. You will suddenly find that you are no longer in the right lane as other traffic merges on to the freeway, and you will just have to suck it up and hope that other drivers will let you move to the right in time to make your exit.
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Old 06-26-2007, 03:03 AM   #3
jrgwdenner
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These thoughts would be funny if they were all true! We spent a couple weeks in LA this spring and the traffic is unbelievable, unlike any other place. We're not anxious to return. Our out-of-state license plate was the only one we ever saw on the freeways. What does that say about our guts or lack of intelligence? Glen did a great job of driving but it was challenging.

David, you are absolutely correct about the motorcycles. We couldn't believe our eyes but it happened over and over again. We heard that it is legal for them to drive between lanes of traffic. Certainly seems like a death wish to me.
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Old 06-26-2007, 03:17 AM   #4
SlickWillie
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Sounds like a place we'll never go. I'll drive three hours to go around Houston!

About the motorcycles. I worked with a fellow from Houston that told me he used to pass stopped traffic by going down the centerline. Well, one day an elderly lady happened to open her door. He and Harley ended up in the front seat with her. I rode for many years and was never tempted to pass like that.
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Old 06-26-2007, 06:06 AM   #5
Wrenchtraveller
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You forgot the instructions on lane changing. When wanting to change into the right lane, you put on your left turning signal. As people rush up to the left side of your vehicle to prevent a left lane change from happening, they sometimes will leave a small space on your right side that you can dart into. I was told this by a bus tour guide in LA years ago, and it really works.

Also in the LA area you will see wonderful, colorful attractions like a dead old Chevvy van being pulled by a Datsun B-12, tied together with a piece of hemp rope and both vehicles filled with Mexicans. I was so impressed that a 20 year old Datsun could actually do that!
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Old 06-26-2007, 06:13 AM   #6
BirdingRVer
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There are some common misunderstandings that people from out of state have about LA and California traffic in general.

In any other state the posted limit is the maximum speed under ideal conditions. Here in California the posted limit is the slowest permissible speed in the right lane at anytime. Another thing that you will notice is that you can be in the right lane traveling 10 MPH over the posted limit and have someone come up behind you and flash their lights so that you will get out of their way. This only happens in emergency situations. You will notice that most Californians drive with a cell phone in one hand and a Starbucks cup in the other hand at all times. If you have someone drive up behind you while you are in the right lane you will immediately see what the emergency is; they will have drained there Starbucks cup and they only have a few seconds to get to the next Starbucks before they will go into a coma due to a caffeine deficiency. You will know this because they will have a free hand to give you a gesture to get out of their way. This also explains why there are way more Starbucks in California than any other business.
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Old 06-26-2007, 04:41 PM   #7
Trailer Trash 2
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Well I can see by the coments you guys arn't from around here.
Don't forget we change flat tires at 65 mph, and shoot people that get an attitude.

HA HA
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Old 06-26-2007, 05:05 PM   #8
sreigle
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That's funny, Don! I've towed our Montana through LA on I-5 and I-405 (and another I forgot) three times. I find it's best to close my eyes as we enter from the south and open them again as we exit on the north.

I have to admit that as a biker when we lived in San Diego I, too, would sometimes whiteline but only when traffic was at a standstill, or mostly so. Thankfully nobody ever opened a door into me. I have to admit I'd not do it again now that I've survived this long in my life.
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Old 06-26-2007, 06:11 PM   #9
Garin1
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Steve, don't you just love the I-405. It has to be the largest parking lot in the U.S.A.
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Old 06-26-2007, 06:23 PM   #10
jrgwdenner
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We don't like the I-405! We vowed not to return to LA. Now we loved San Diego and hope to return.
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Old 06-27-2007, 08:21 AM   #11
D and M On The Road
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When we need to be in L.A. for whatever reason, we fly there and have a limousine pick us up at the airport and take us to our destination while we ride in comfort and enjoy the perks of limo riding (television, drinks..).

Limousines are much cheaper than taxis & shuttles and we arrive stress free.

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Old 06-28-2007, 07:00 AM   #12
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My son lives in L.A., and we have driven the Monty out there a couple of times to see his family. I can vouch that all the above is true. On top of all that, towed vehicles (5ers) are restricted to the right two lanes and 55 mph.

I have seriously considered parking in Victorville or someplace and driving the TV into L.A. and staying overnight at a hotel.

Bad doesn't cover it!
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Old 06-28-2007, 08:16 AM   #13
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Trailer Trash 2

For all your that are not farmiluar with LA


3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the
105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything
less is considered "Wussy".
I've spent considerable time in LA, and once (as a passenger in a chipped BMW), exited the 405 at 105 mph. Those people are crazy!
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Old 06-28-2007, 05:22 PM   #14
Garin1
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Cat320, I have been out here in L A for the last four months now and the best I can do on the I-405 is 85mph(at 04:00 am for fifteen minutes) then it slows to about ten mph. I am not doubting you but if you were doing 105mph you were probably being pushed by one of the Starbucks addicted, cell phone mutated, psychotic locals.
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Old 06-29-2007, 06:53 AM   #15
The Oldguard
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Don, I’m confused are you sure that your not talking about the traffic in Seattle Washington? I-5, 167, 405, 512 and 90, if you are stupid enough to slow down for exit that has a hair pin turn you will be shot!!!
California is a breeze compared to Washington and the drivers are much nicer!!!
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