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Old 06-25-2006, 05:32 AM   #1
vickir
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Topeka
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M.O.C. #2215
Fun Stuff ...

The following Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here.



 
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Old 06-25-2006, 07:35 AM   #2
Parrothead
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Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Happy trails.................
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Old 06-25-2006, 08:16 AM   #3
Glenn and Lorraine
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With exception of the last one, me thinks I personally have heard each one of them responses.
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Old 06-25-2006, 04:16 PM   #4
gkbutler
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Vicki,

I have to tell you I spent seventeen years as a police officer and have heard or used each and every one of those comments with the exception of the last one at least once.

My favorite response was when I stopped a suspected drunk driver one night. I asked him how much he had had to drink; to which he replied: "Two, the first one and the last one."
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