Southern Women Know

[Waynem]

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
___________________
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
___________________
Southern women know their manners:

'Yes, ma'am.'
'Yes, sir .'
'Why, no, Billy!'
___________________
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :

'Y'all come back!'
'Well, bless your heart.'
'Drop by when you can.'
'How's your Momma?'
___________________
Southern women know their summer weather report:

Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

___________________
Southern women know their vacation spots:

The beach
The rivuh
The crick
___________________
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:

Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
___________________
Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
___________________
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
___________________
Southern women know their religions:

Baptist
Methodist
Football
___________________
Southern women know their country breakfasts:

Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
___________________
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
___________________
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
___________________
Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
___________________
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
___________________
More Suthen-ism's:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.
___________________

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up'a mess.'
___________________

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.'
___________________

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.'
___________________

Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
___________________

All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
___________________

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
___________________

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near'and 'a right fer piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20.
___________________

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash.
___________________

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
___________________

A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
___________________

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines... And when we're 'in line,' we talk to everybody!
___________________

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
___________________

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
___________________

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
___________________

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes is NOT a breakfast food.
___________________

When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
___________________

Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk.
___________________

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, 'Bless her heart', and go your own way.
___________________

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
___________________

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
___________________

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.'

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it! We know you got here as fast as you could.

[fulltimedreamer]

AMEN!!!

[Wayne and Carolyn Mathews]

Your humor will be part of my background lecture to prepare my AP lit students for reading Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily." I get teased all the time for things like pronouncing "style" "stahyle," and for calling my students and anyone else at hand "sweetpea." I've been known to use "sugah," too--but in this day of political correctness and litigation in the wings, I do try to avoid using that term with the male staff.

My favorite part was about pitching hissy fits and conniption fits. The first time I said "If anyone else turns in a paper with a raggedy torn-from-a-spiral-notebook edge on it, I'm going to pitch a conniption fit that you'll be a long time forgetting." Total silence. Turns out that my little group of native-born Montana students had never heard that terms. Grits? The kids thought that might be a pile of dirt or little rocks.

Thanks for tomorrow's sidebar to my lesson!

Carolyn

[labmom]

Wayne-that was delightful!!!!! We have not been a whole lot of places but spend a lot of time in the South and I love the men and women down there. We spent a month in Statesboro, GA with some friends who have two small grandchildren and we were Miss Betsy and Mr Dave. That was expected. Everything is yes maam and no maam and I love that. It is a truly amazing experience. And, I hope that we can settle somewhere south when we are able to sell the house, particularly in the S'vnah area, my favorite place so far.
Betsy

[Waynem]

A little story for all y'all.

In 1968, July, I departed for Vietnam. My DW and sons came home to Texas and she stayed with her Mom and Dad, rest their souls, for about 6 months, then she went to Massachusetts, where my folks resided, and stayed until I came home in August '69.

My son started 1st grade in Texas, Blocker Elementary School, in 1968. Of course, he transferred to the North Brookfield elementary school system when they arrived in MA.

One day, he came home crying. Earlene asked what was the matter, and he replied that the teacher called him a dunce and put a pointed hat on him and made him sit in the corner. Well of course, being the little devil he "is" he was asked what he had done. He didn't know.

The next morning my wife accompanied him to school, early, and confronted Mrs. Murphy. Now please bear, that Mrs. Murphy was my teacher and I think she may have been my mother's teacher - get the picture? Earlene stepped into her office and asked the questions of "why's" that Chris had been called a dunce, and put in the corner. She said that he was disrespectful. When asked how he was disrespectful, she said that she had asked him a question, and he had replied, "Ma'am?"

Earlene then went on to tell her that if he had not replied that way when not understanding the question he would have been in a heck of a lot more trouble than being places in a corner, and would have needed a cushion to sit on. And then commenced to give her some education on "Southern Culture."

Mrs. Murphy did apologize to the class and explained Southern Culture to the class.

For those who have not ventured into the South, when a child is spoken to, his reply is "Yes ma'am, no ma'am," or "Yes sir, no sir." Ma'am and sir are inbred in the Southern way. To this day, my children, in there 40's will answer yes sir, or maam when talking to elders, and sometimes when just talking to peers.

It beats the heck out of "yeah?"

Oh! And we really spell it "Maam."

[Dustytuu]

Wayne, I know that well, since I am a former southern gal. Born and raised in the south.

[eeoski]

I lament, on a daily basis, the gradual (and, in some areas, not so gradual) loss of the daily "niceities" of southern etiquette! My parents are originally from New Jersey, but we were raised predominently in the south and were raised with "Yes maam," "No maam," "Yes sir," "No sir," "Miss XYZ" and "Mister XYZ." Our children were raised the same way and I expect it from my grandson as well (he needs periodic "reprogramming" if he is away from the great grandparents and/or grandparents for too long).

I feel for your son's experience as well Wayne, I moved from Sanford, Florida (when there was still a southern accent there) to Boston, MA when I was five and still remember the differences in accent and manners and when we moved to Long Island, NY from Sanford, FL via Albany, GA (where there STILL is a southern accent) and suffered a LOT of teasing (even from my teachers) because of my accent and "Yes maam's" "Yes sirs!"

LOVED this list of "southernisms" and still use them today!

Robin