Hey - finally a thread I can help on...
We have a 35' trailer and use the EQualizer hitch (actual name). It has built in sway, and rated for 12,000 lbs all the way through. I can just about lift the back of the truck off the ground with it.
As far as towing, I must be set up pretty good, 'cause if I'm not careful I get the speedo creep. Caught myself going way too fast a few times (not recommended) and it was towing like a dream.
Trucks coming the other way go largely unnoticed, and rain hasn't been an issue either.
Three years into it and I'm starting to see a little wear, but compared to the old motorhome we used to have, I can relax behind the wheel now.