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Old 11-29-2007, 06:59 AM   #1
Exnavydiver
Montana Master
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Land O Lakes
Posts: 2,751
M.O.C. #7753
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Hallmark rejects

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........



////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////







My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat



When I looked at the tire...



I noticed your cat.



Sorry!







------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.



But don't fret about it...



She moved in with me.









~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Looking back over the years



that we've been together,



I can't help but wonder.....



"What the hell was I thinking?"









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Congratulations on your wedding day!



Too bad no one likes your husband.









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How could two people as beautiful as you



Have such an ugly baby?









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,



someone to love.



After having met you ..



I've changed my mind.









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.



I never believed in Hell until I met you.









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...



That you're not here to ruin it for me.









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...



Would you like to take this knife out of my back?



You'll probably need it again.









************************************************** ******************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!



(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.



Almost Lifelike!









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We have been friends for a very long time ..



let's say we stop?









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here.









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.



Did you ever find out who the father was?









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your friends and I wanted to do



something special for your birthday.



So we're having you put to sleep.









------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.



Look at the bright side,



it's really good pay
 
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