Ramblings

[Glenn and Lorraine]

Ramblings of a Retired Mind - some thoughts.

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one, so, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people who avoided me just didn't like me.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans, and men should put pictures of their missing wives up at the mall!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease: That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
I've come to realize that the secret to a happy life is not looking like Barbie or Ken and suffering through tofu and rice cakes to stay that way! It's eating chocolate, staying chunky and explain that you're really a perfect size 6, but you keep it covered with fat so it doesn't get scratched!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why is it that every time I lose weight it finds me again?

[campbud]

ROTFL Thanks for my laugh of the day! LOL

[indy roadrunner]

And to think my retirement is just 2-3 years away. Boy do I have a lot to look forward to.

[BillyRay]

keep them comming!

[Dustytuu]

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, 
they always say, 
"Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, 
"No, it's for company!"

I have wanted to say " Yes and heres your sign!"
After that one....
We have been asked that question! More than once!

Thanks for sharing all those.

Dusty

[tom41]

LMAO!! lawd Glenn I'm still rolling in the floor! and dusty I know what ya meant bout the cats litter box, Glenn hit it on the nail head! Glenn Ya think Jeff Foxworthy could use you writing for him ? lol thanks a bunch, owe you a beer when we meet. (cheap beer tho) hehe

[RVWheels]

A great source for this type of thing can be found at:

Humor Source