Full Time Blues

[pbahlin]

We're on the Oregon coast - land of a thousand clouds. Since I find myself rig bound, with a lot of time on my hands, I'm reflecting on our (almost) first year as full timers. First, let me say that we both love it and certainly don't regret our decision to go full time. But, one of the things I never expected is the human element to this decision.

I don't know how else to describe it. We wintered in Florida at a small (100 site) park and made all kinds of new friends. Perhaps more than any other time in our lives we were in a very 'social' environment that wasn't centered on work. Every day involved lots of interaction with folks who went from strangers to friends in a few short months.

We struck out in April for our first grand tour. We're circumnavigating the U.S. and it's a fabulous trip but suddenly we find ourselves interacting with nature, not people. As migrants, especially in crummy weather, we find ourselves mostly alone. Sure, there's the 'hi how are ya' moments, but you never have time to really get to know anybody.

It's two very different worlds. I miss our friends, of course, but that's not the point. It's that the winter opened up a side of me/us that I never really had while in a full time career, and now I miss those opportunities to make new friends and swap tales.

Maybe I'm just having a rain induced, momentary melancholy. Maybe I just haven't been in the right park long enough. Anyway, has anybody else felt this? Has anybody found a good way to deal with it?

[Mynabird]

There is a Rally in Canyonville, OR @ 7 Feathers, 6-8.

We like to mix it up with friendly campgrounds & being by ourselves to take in the sites of our country side!

Yes, & in-climant weather will make you more contemplative!!! Enjoy the diverse opportunities!

[1Happycamper]

Hi Paul & Betty.

Hope you are enjoying your travels. If you have time on your hands, try writting some of your poems.They are always very good.

See you at the Fall Rally.

Bill & Angie

[Ozz]

I see what you are saying, we look at travel as an adventure, exploring the new towns, enjoying the foods that are unique to the areas, I think we are Nomads rather than joiners.
I hope you get better weather and have more fun.

[CasaDelSol]

Time for a Scrabble tournament!!

[Wayne and Carolyn Mathews]

We're new full-timers, but not new to extended living in our RV. We had a house until April, when we finally, thankfully, after 2 years got it sold. Now we're living in the Dillon, Montana, KOA and using it as a home base when we're not traveling with rig.

I'm fortunate in that I can be satisfied spending days alone, which was the situation where we had our home, in a very isolated, 30+ miles from a gallon of diesel or a loaf of bread place in southwest Montana. Not only that, we were snowed in from time to time, so that also limited our contact with the outside world. My husband nearly went crazy in those situations; I was happy as a clam. I read, make jewelry, do some freelance web work for family-owned businesses, and other solitary things. My husband, not a reader or computer user, paced the floor and did his best to drive me crazy.

Now that we're in town at the KOA, hubby is a new person. When he walks the dogs, he always finds someone to talk to, and we're also half a mile from town, which has cheered him up a lot. I can either be very social or very solitary, depending on what I have going on from day to day. I also still teach school (retirement in May of 2012, yea!), so that keeps me busy.

Still, I do empathize with you and the "crummy weather, finding [yourselves] mostly alone." From October through April or May, that can and often was the situation when we lived in the boondocks. You have rain induced, momentary melancholy; I had snow induced melancholy. It never lasted, however, because I always had some project going on that needed my attention. My husband, on the other hand, was a bear to live with when we were so isolated. I never could get him interested in learning how to iron or clean the toilets--imagine that!

Do you have anything you like to do that is or can be a solitary activity such as reading or sewing? Of course, you may not be a hobby person, and I understand that. Until we went to the 7 Feathers rally in Oregon two years ago, reading and working on the computer were about the only 2 things I did in my spare time. But at 7 Feathers, not only did I meet many new and now dear friends, but two of them introduced me to beading, and I've been doing that every chance I get since then. In fact, I got so carried away with making bracelets, earrings, and necklaces that I finally had to set up and sell things at our local farmer's market last summer just to recover my costs and make room for more new jewelry. Now that hobby has turned into a profitable little business for me!

Since you've made so many new friends, you might start a travel blog to keep in touch with them. Doing a blog, especially with photos, is a great way to stay connected with people. I bet many of your new friends are also Facebook users, too, which is another easy way to stay in touch. And, if you're computer literate, you can Skype--talk to your friends face-to-face (and it's free). My best friend back in Texas is helping me learn how to play the dulcimer via regular Skype sessions. I also took my laptop around the park where we're living and "Skyped" as I walked so that she could see exactly where I was, right down to the log I like to sit on when I fish in the Beaverhead River (borders the park).

I bet your melancholy has a lot to do with being in a new park, the rain, and not knowing anyone yet. The wamer the weather gets, the more you get out and walk around the park, the quicker you'll be on your way to another friend-making adventure, I think.

I hope things even out for you and that you become very social again very quickly! As Little Orphan Annie said, "The sun will come out tomorrow . . ." And, it will!
Carolyn

[pbahlin]

Maybe I wasn't being clear enough. It's not that I'm bored or have nothing to do, and we've only been in bad weather for a week. My point was that we find ourselves in two radically different environments; six months in a highly social but static physical location, followed by six months of relative isolation while on the move constantly. It's a big adjustment and something to consider if you're thinking about full timing. Not a deal breaker or anything. Just something to be ready for and to plan on.

Things like staying in a place for longer or shorter stays, or seeking out parks with different mix of transients to families on vacation, or possibly spending more time in group centered activities like rallies or wagon trains come to mind as ways to offset this social shock come to mind. One of the things we are doing to deal with it is to set up 'dates' with family along the way.

I wasn't looking for a t2d list. I get those from the DW, thank you very much.

[Wayne and Carolyn Mathews]

I think you have the perfect answer to offsetting the social shocks, and I really like the "family dates" idea, which is something we could use ourselves.

You're right--no woman needs another t2d list! Sorry about that!

Carolyn

[pbahlin]

Carolyn:

My DH is the creator of the topic and he certainly doesn't need anymore on HIS T2Do list....I can keep that pretty full.....and as for sewing or crafts that's my world.....he has his own hobbies....like learning to play the guitar and the piano.....I believe you were right on about the weather being the problem.....we are stuck inside most days....rain and rain.......and more rain predicted.

Betty

[Wayne and Carolyn Mathews]

The weather--the wettest and coldest here on record in years! I looked out at all the other RV's, many of which had multiple children on board for camping over the holiday weekend, and I wondered how the parents and/or grandparents were surviving being cooped up for days because of the heavy rain and intermittent snow. This KOA has a great children's play area, bikes to rent, and a Blue Ribbon trout stream, the Beaverhead River, bordering it, yet no one could so much as put a foot outside because of the weather.

Hope the weather clears up for you guys. We, too, are sick of being stuck indoors for over a week now.

Your blog--It's WONDERFUL!

Carolyn

[bob n pam]

Betty, we are also in Oregon for the summer with all of the liquid sunshine. We are volunteering outdoors 4 days a week and on the days we are off we just put on our rain gear and head out. If you are going to spend much time on the Oregon coast that's about the only way to get around it. If you are near Newport, let's get together for some visiting.

We have been fulltiming for quite awhile now and have gone through periods of social shock such as you have described. I have experienced times of needing community while we were exploring and traveling, while my husband is happy with the solitary life. We are transitioning into a different lifestyle now with less on the road time and more staying put time. For me attending rallies once in awhile, meeting up with friends along the way and volunteering for a season or so a year seems to fill that need for social connection. Everyone just needs to experiment a little and find what works for them.

[CasaDelSol]

Paul..while we are not fulltimers I can relate to what you are saying. We live fulltime in a retirement community south of Tampa. Great neighbors, lots of activities and best of all both our sons live in the next town with their families and our grandson and granddaughter. They visit as often as adult children can. This is our second summer traveling for about 5 months each time. We are on our way to Connecticut to see the other kids, grandkids, siblings, Dave's Mom, etc. I love being on the road and seeing other parts of the country. Civil War sites are great, etc. I can't wait to see the grandkids in CT...and then I will be ready to leave for the rest of our travels. We are looking forward to the National rally in Goshen. All that being said....we have been on the road for almost 2 weeks and I am having a great time, but miss my life in Tampa. I love the road and I love home. It's hard to leave one for the other. Aren't we lucky to have choices in our lives? Enjoy what you have and look forward to this coming winter with your friends in Florida. Joanie

[JudeM]

The rig bound blues are hitting me here too. We are nearing our 2nd year full-timing and like yourselves, have no regrets at all!! The weather were we are has been dismal, if it's not raining the wind is blowing small children into the next town. I find it hard not seeing friends as much as i would like and with Gary working (this is his "hobby" during the summer) there's even less human contact. The to-do lists are always there but its the social side that kind of hits you. We do meet alot of people in our travels but very few our own age. I guess that's the price we pay for semi-retiring and enjoying so little stress!! I have read more than ever and should get more stitching done. Ok...vented... feel less lonely now!!! lol Have fun!!

[adelmoll]

Is there a reason you have to stay on the Coast? Oregon is such a beautiful state but as full timers when the weather gets too bad we move inward.. Central Oregon is awesome and just an hour away from the Pacific might be bright sun and blue skies... There is a Good Sam Rally in July that is great.. If you have never been to one, you don't know what you are missing.. Nothing at all like the Montana Rally's but very interesting.. We spent July and August last year in Oregon..Check out our blog for some great places.

Helen

[pbahlin]

Helen:

We started our Oregon adventure on the border of Utah and traveled across the state so we have experienced central Oregon and will again, we are here for our granddaughter's graduation on the 12th, in the Portland area and it has rained every day but 2 since we've been here. As we got here early we decided to explore the coast and see more of Oregon...it is a beautiful state, we have been here before (3 yrs ago).....in the summer and there was lots of sunshine....So although we complain about the gray, dreary weather we still are enjoying the area, think my DH was trying to describe the change in the socializing part of the traveling as compared to what we experienced in our first winter in the world of full timing.

Betty and Paul