Things to contemplate around the Campfire:
1. When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
2. The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
3. Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream."
4. Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.
5. Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
6. Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
7. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
8. You'll never be awakened by the call of a loon if you have an unlisted number.
9. The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.
10. Acupuncture was invented by a camper who found a porcupine in his sleeping bag.
11. Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
12. You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.
13. You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
14. When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
15. You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
16. Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
17. A great deal of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
18. In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
19. It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
20. A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
Thanks for sharing!
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