NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND

[Kathi]

These are just as they were emailed to me. I laughed till my sides ached




NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND
These are real notes written by parents in a school district...(spellings have been left intact.)



1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the squirts. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out] (love it!)

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. was absent yesterday because he missed his bust

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. [you know, this could be legit! ]

15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off th e porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sun day.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines. [i absolutely love that one!]

19. Please excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

[Wordsmith]

The sad part of this is that it is so close to true…

After nineteen years in public education, you would think I had seen it all, but no, along comes someone to further underwhelm me!

[SAndreasen]

I agree with Wordsmith. I just retired after 37 years teaching high school science. I wonder where the accountability in "No parent left behind" went.

[Kathi]

We went to Lowe's the other day and bought a funnel. The price was $1.19. Paul gave the girl $2.00. She looks at us and says "I was afraid this would happen!" I looked at Paul because I thought he must have given her $100. or something. She says "How much did you give me?" Paul said "I gave you $2.00." She looked at us like it was the end of the world. You could tell she didn't know how to add or subtract. I looked at Paul and he looked at me. I told her the change would be 81 cents. Boy was she ever relieved. When we got to the car I told Paul that there was our future. He just shook his head. I can only imagine how much money that girl is going to cost the co. before the get rid of her! Sad but true.....

[Montana Sky]

Well I guess all I can do is hope that the kids today have it better than I do. After 11 years of running a grocery store I find myself wondering how some of these kids are going to ever make it. They have no work ethic and they want the top dollar wage to start. Not to mention some of them do not understand the meaning of work...

[richfaa]

Do you think that we, the parents , might be somewhat responsible for the attitudes on our children. I mean where did they get all of these ideas??? You know when I was taking math courses we had a slide rule and a pencil, no calculators, no computers.We had to work out the problem long hand while attempting to keep track of the blasted decimal points with the slide rule.We might fill up 2 or 3 legal sheets of paper on one problem. Now you can crank it out on a calculator in a few seconds..and the kids have no clue of all the "steps"..who's fault ????? The kids at my school are amazed that I can convert from decimal, binary, oct and hex in my head using the good old 8421 code of which most of them never heard of. Who's fault???? We rely entirely on technology..oh crap..I forgot..I am retired..I drive a bus..

[bobgay]

Kathi, that was hilarious, although a bit frightening. Thanks for posting it.

[Montana_70]

#16!! Hilarious. Says a lot more about this family then spelling and grammar.

[Montana Sky]

Rich,
Now I know I am the young pup here but even I have never heard of the 8421 code. Not through high school or college, would you shed some light on this as I am curious.

[CountryGuy]

Kathi,

That penquin is WAYYYY TOOOO FUNNY!!!

[richfaa]

Montanasky..If I had a flip chart and about one hour we could make it look easy..Meanwhile look at the attached link.

Example the binary nimber. 10110101 is decimal 181 is Oct 465 and Hex Baker 5 (B5)

What I would do since we live in the decimal system was use 8421 code to convert ANY number system to decimal then add, subtract, multiply, divide in the decimal system..then convert back to the number system you are working in..after a bit of practice you can do it in a few seconds..http://www.asic-world.com/digital/numbering.html

There will be a test Friday..

[Kathi]

CountryGuy, I was wondering if anyone would notice my penquins! Notice how the one is just standing there and when the other one walks by he slaps him in the back of the head and knocks him into the water!!!!I thought that was really funny.....

[CountryGuy]

Kathi, Oh, I noticed, I sat there and watched and watched, smiling and giggling! What a HOOT!

Carol

Do you have penquins in Montana??

[Parrothead]

Okay Kathi I've been off for awhile, what happened to the penguins? I used many of these "absent" excuses in the workshops I taught on attendance accounting (California schools makes it difficult). But the one I have always liked the best is one I personally received when working for a school district in Palm Desert CA (very Richey area). "Please excuse Jonathan today. The chauffeur overslept."
Happy trails..........................

[Kathi]

I was told that the graphic was to big and I didn't know how to make it smaller so I just took them off. Then RVWheels suggested that I send it OnTheRoad and see if he could make it better, but I haven't heard anything back yet. So for now they are off the post. No penquins in Montana, just a lot of really cold people, grizzlies, moose etc. Nice place though...