The New Living Will Form
I, _______________________________, being of
Sound mind and body; do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for:
____________ A pizza
____________ A beer
____________ A steak
____________ A kiss
____________ coffee or a latte
____________ the remote control
____________ A bowl of ice cream
____________ Chocolate
____________ Cookies
____________ Sex
It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own sweet business, and pay attention instead to the future of the millions of Americans who aren’t in a permanent coma.
Signature: ___________________________
Witness: _______________________________
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