Camping rules for "Mr Helpful"!

[Artemus Gordon]

Camping rules for "Mr Helpful"!

I hope I don't anger anyone. But my wife and I, have been compiling a list of "rules for campers", normally not published in camping journals! I am always polite and let few things bother me today. But these are just musings, I wanted to share. It is meant to be in jest, please accept it as such .

1. When I arrive at my campsite, remember there will be time for us to become friends Please avoid the following:

Compulsive desire to teach me proper backing in technique.

Reminding me of your "secret technique" of steering from the bottom of the steering wheel.

Avoid getting between my wife and I when parking my rig. Try to find a better way of referring to my wife than "little lady", "gal " or the genetic form "women" as a third party reference! Note: If I have a big truck and RV, I most likely know that already, and it might surprise you that my wife and I have done this before?

As much as it pains you, don't offer help unless asked. If you truly must, ask me if you can help, and kindly accept my response. If your help is not solicited, please take your group of spectators outside my hearing zone. Note: laughter of any kind will be considered directed at me. Therefore jocularity should be avoided during all docking maneuvers

Sewer hose: it's a good idea to avoid all conversations with someone wrestling a sewer hose. Not a good time to introduce yourself, your dog , or your darling grand kids. It's just a good rule of thumb to leave a person with sewer hose alone.

3. When you see me exit my camper, it is not necessary to announce it to the world. " Phrases like , where you going neighbor? Your not leaving the dogs inside are you? Nor cute quips like "wife kicked you out"? No, none of these or other equally clever forms of "I missed you behavior" should be exercised.

4. Last thing to remember, me being "54" is not young. I have obviously made it this far on my own. While it may be flattering to "think of myself as a young man", hearing someone call me, "Son" is lost on me. My painful back, bad knees, intestinal track maladies, and fist full of morning pills, serve as a daily reminder of my current age!

Much more, just wanted to share!

[DQDick]

Saves time to just warn them that you and the wife are armed and normally in a bad mood. In my stick home days I found doing things people thought was nuts also helped. Putting a hard hat on and mowing the grass in a small hail storm, BBQing in the snow with shorts and flip-flops on, you get the picture. Even annoying people are very careful not to upset folks they think are crazy.

[BB_TX]

We have been fortunate not to run into any of these overly zealous neighbors. Closest we came was a few years ago. A narrow site between trees, a narrow road, and a river just across the road. Got into the site ok but needed to move a couple feet farther over from the pedastal. After 3-4 pull-ups/backups the guy next site lying in a hammock hollered "if you run low on diesel let know and I'll go get you some". I told him to go back to sleep. Both had a good laugh.

[1retired06]

If pushed, I simply say 'I don't need or want any help' and that usually is sufficient.

[Tom S.]

I just laugh and tell people I charge a buck a head for the show.

[Overlord]

I like your sense of humor!

quote:Originally posted by Artemus Gordon

Camping rules for "Mr Helpful"!



Avoid getting between my wife and I when parking my rig. Try to find a better way of referring to my wife than "little lady", "gal " or the genetic form "women" as a third party reference! Note: If I have a big truck and RV, I most likely know that already, and it might surprise you that my wife and I have done this before?

I wish this was the case with me! My wife, who does her fair share of talking, becomes an absolute mute, who uses undecipherable hand and arm gesticulations after she climbs out of the truck to "guide" me in.

It does not matter how many times I try to explain universally recognized hand signals, or loud voice commands such as STOP!, it just does not seem to sink in, ...ever!

So, for difficult parking situations, I am relegated to hopping in and out of the truck a half dozen(sometimes more) times to assess the situation, tell her to stand RIGHT HERE, and "re-train" her on the "palms facing each other and closing together" technique of how far I can go before backing into an obstacle.

She also does not comprehend the intricacies of when to cut the wheel, or when to follow the arc, to achieve the desired final location and angle of the trailer. The truck will be at a 45 degree angle to the rig, and she still thinks that I can magically make the trailer go straight back. ...but I still take her with me whenever I go camping.

In closing, sometimes I welcome the help of a stranger, but only after I explain my desired result and assess his ability to assist me.

Sometimes I get terrific help, other times I have to fire them.

[steelpony5555]

Wow you got a wife like that too....lol lol I must have told her a 100 times if you can not see my mirror I can not see you. lol lol But I let her "help" anyways.... I am usually in a pretty good mood and can ignore all the "help" from neighbors, but there are those times where it is best to stay out of my sight. The wife is usually pretty good at heading off that kind of "help" and just telling them I would not go near him right now.... I do put on a show from time to time. Normally I can thread a needle with that trailer but now and then it may take me 10 times back and forth to move over a foot or two lol lol lol..... That's usually when I am in a hurry lol lol .......Hey Mike when it comes to the stinky slinky it may be that you are not throwing it around enough.....if you sling it there is usually some left over water in it that will fly everywhere lol lol should clear the area for ya..... I have also used Dicks plan of attack too, it helps to clean all your guns outside in plain view. When you jump in and out of the truck to back in just talk to a cloud above or even argue with the cloud. Doubt anybody will offer help, in fact if done loud enough doubt you get invited to sit round the campfire either lol lol

[Artemus Gordon]

David. I installed back up cameras to assist me in capturing my DW crazy hand signals. Yes I love her more than life itself, but directions for parking is not one of her string points. That said, she takes parking instructions perfectly. Therefore she parks at many sites. I simply remind her about my insurance policy and say "now try to hit me with the truck "! W

[Artemus Gordon]

David. I installed back up cameras to assist me in capturing my DW crazy hand signals. Yes I love her more than life itself, but directions for parking is not one of her strong points. That said, she takes parking instructions perfectly. Therefore she parks at many sites. I simply remind her about my insurance policy and say "now try to hit me with the truck "! Works every-time! As far as sewer duty. After back surgery I lost the dodo duty? Yes it's all up to her. That is why many try to help her! Lol. I am so glad she does not read my posts! Hope nobody rats me out at Montana Rally? Lol

[Flymutt]

quote:Originally posted by Artemus Gordon

Camping rules for "Mr Helpful"!

Sounds like there is more to the story. Did you recently have a "bad" experience?

[Artemus Gordon]

This morning! Lol

[Art-n-Marge]

In another topic I mentioned I don't get bothered by anybody. I still think it's because I'm ugly and mean looking, so nobody wants to bother. That, plus the fact I like to set up my RV around crotchety old people who are.... just like me. Artemus, you look like too nice a guy and you don't look 54 either. You need to develop a snarl, tatoos (temp ones) on your face, a doorag, scratch your anatomy, etc. Whew, I better stop. You'll think I do these things.

I do like and honor your rules.

[Artemus Gordon]

Lol. Thanks Art. U don't look that rough, thanks for kind words! Lol

[steelpony5555]

Heeey,,,, so that's why no one bothers me........lol lol lol

[JandC]

quote:Originally posted by Tom S.

I just laugh and tell people I charge a buck a head for the show.

LOL....I think I will use that one!

[richfaa]

I solved the "wife" problem by Helen doing 99% of the parking and backing. I do it occasionally just to remind myself of how to do it. I will bet that I have not backed off our street into our driveway and along side the S&B maybe 10 times in 7 years.

We do on occasion get some guys watching her back into a spot then walking away without comment when she does it perfectly.

[woodtic]

My wife also usually backs in the trailer. Gets us into those tight spots without a problem. She can back it anywhere but in a straight line.

I wish someone would come offer to help when I'm getting ready to hook up the stinky hose.

We are not experts at backing into tight camp sites. Experienced help is at times appreciated. Otherwise, it's nice to have someone around to go and get me a cold beer. LOL.

[K0LCB]

I used to have a baseball cap that said, "This Vet medicated for your protection" not many folk bothered me

[Art-n-Marge]

Your cap should also say "And the Smith and Wesson is for my protection".