Lisa,
Stop trying to be young again and just bite the bullet and join AARP. You'll find it is painless except for the small annual dues. You don't have to wear a placard around your neck indicating you are over 50!
Editied:
Dano,
When you introduce Lisa, it goes like this:
"Hello. This is my wife Lisa. She's a member of AARP."
If you don't join it is:
"Hello. This is my wife Lisa. She gets solicited to join AARP all the time."