This is an interesting problem you're having with the black water flush fer sure. As you have already read, it is never recommended to use a "regulator" when flushing. On my previous 5'er's and trailers there was an inline check valve going into the black water tank. I suspect it's certainly a possibility that was put in backwards which would surely "stop" any water from entering the tank.
Not sure if it's feasible for you doing the repair yourself, however, with your dealer so far away sometimes it's easier to do somethings yourself...if it's not too complicated. Keep us posted on what you finally found the problem to be.
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